Project Bumpway

During the past week, I have finally broadened my horizons with respect to maternity “fashion.” I’m still in that odd transitional phase, where I’m not looking pregnant all the time (being taller has its perks), but things still aren’t what they normally are. I’ve already mentioned the whole rubber band-pants closure trick, but after 6 weeks of intermittent use, that’s starting to get a bit old. During the first pregnancy, my mom had bought me several pairs of dress pants and a pair of jeans, so I have had some stuff. I’m not sure what my hold-up has been with wearing actual “maternity” bottoms has been, but for whatever reason, I’ve been reluctant to take the plunge.
The tops aren’t bad, particularly with what’s fashionable today. Many of my regular blouses still work (for now), provided they’re not fitted. Even then, it’s not so much an issue of the belly area as it is the top. I started phasing a few maternity tops in about a month ago, as the length is much more conducive to successfully pulling off the rubber-band method.
I broke down and ordered some pieces from Old Navy – mainly some loose flowing dresses and a couple of plain black “skorts” which had tons of positive customer reviews. The dresses are absolutely wonderful, and since I’ll be corpulent during the heat of the summer, I figure they’ll be a major staple of my wardrobe. You know, throw on some strappy sandals and a cardigan and you’re off to work. I absolutely loved each and every one of them. Until I saw a glimpse of myself from the back. I guess all the extra fabric makes what was already a “problem area” balloon into something catastrophic. My only solution is this: I will simply pretend that my back half doesn’t exist for the next 5-6 months. So there.
I had read about these things called “Bella Bands” or “Tummy Tubes,” which are basically giant ace bandages you wear around your mid-section to help you transition in and out of maternity sizes. I picked one up, as it sounded like a fantastic idea. I wore it to work with a pair of capris last week. Nightmare. The damn thing kept rolling up my back like a cheap window shade. I spent all day yanking on the thing and adjusting myself, such that my coworkers probably thought I had scabies or something. Unless you pin it in place, I don’t think it’s worth it.
I finally opted for a pair of the maternity slacks yesterday, as it was probably our last “cool” day for the rest of the spring/summer. It is the oddest thing wearing a pant without a waistband. It just feels wrong. I folded the panel down, as I certainly don’t need that kind of bit yet, and they stayed up just fine all day. Still, it’s a mental thing; I felt like a big slob. It was if I had on a pair of “dress” sweatpants. They are comfortable, though, so I’ll give them that credit.
I will soon be trying on my first maternity bathing suit, as we’re off to the beach very shortly. I tried on last year’s tankini, and quite frankly, the top was indecent. I tried it on for Will and he just laughed at me for about 2 minutes before looking at me quite seriously and saying, “you can’t wear that in public.” Enough said.
This is a complicated thing. I’m thinking about buying a dozen pairs of scrubs and just living in those. I can get a sharpie pen and draw pinstripes on some for those days when I have important meetings, or glue rhinestones to another pair for dressy occasions. The possibilities are endless.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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