It’s almost sci-fi hot around here these days. No, that’s not a commentary on global warming. It’s merely a fact, considering it’s Louisiana and August. When you step outside (and if you’re a nerd), you have visions of “Pitch Black” or Tattooine from Star Wars. It’s too hot to see color (for those of us who live in this climate, that statement really does make sense). It was too hot yesterday for me to do my favorite hippopotamus imitation and loaf in my wading pool.
Our home is an older one, and therefore, it’s not the best-insulated or most energy-efficient house in the world. Over time, we plan on adding insulation and changing out more of the windows. In the meantime, our AC runs constantly during the day (despite the fact that I bump it up to 79 each day) and can’t cool the house below 80. I’m living in dread that we’ll burn it out somehow.
While this is going on, I sit on the couch, swollen and sweating. I’m simply not brave enough to hang out in my undies around the house. It just feels odd to have on little/no clothes. I have this Mexican peasant-style dress that I’ve had for years, and it’s become one of my favorite things, much to Will’s dismay. While I love my Mexican muu muu, it’s not as roomy (now) as I would like, and as I try to elevate my feet or sprawl out as much as possible in an attempt to keep as cool as possible, I don’t exactly feel lady-like.
I started dreaming yesterday about the ultimate summer pregnancy outfit and I think I’ve come up with a winner. You have to picture it: The top half will be similar to a very light (almost gauzy, but in a darker color to avoid that wanna-be wet T-shirt contest look) sleeveless nightgown. The bottom half, I think, is where genius happens. Rather than a skirt, my ensemble finishes in big floppy bloomers. And to alleviate the problems that would arise during the inevitable 30 daily trips to the bathroom? Put in a drop-seat.
Yes, it would be hideous. It may be the most un-sexy garment this world has ever seen. But damn would it be cool and comfortable, and the bloomer bottoms would negate the slut factor as the wearer sprawls her legs out or puts them up.
Now if only I could make patterns and sew, I would start on this TODAY. If anyone out there wants to help a big fat pregnant girl out……