This is officially my last full day of being pregnant. It’s quite an odd thing, really, to think that my body will lose its tenant in such a short time, and that in just over 24 hours, we’ll finally get to meet the little girl. We learned at yesterday’s appointment that she’s estimated at 9 pounds now, with no sign of dropping (or me dilating). My doctor and I had a frank discussion, during which she asked if I still wanted to proceed with the scheduled section. She also asked if I would be very upset if they only pulled out an 8 pound baby vs. a 9 pound baby. I assured her that I was still a go for the section, and that I promised not to be upset if they only pulled out a 7 pound baby. She did say that given the estimated size, the fact that I wasn’t quite 39 weeks (yesterday), and that the girl hasn’t starting dropping indicates that I’m in an “unfavorable for delivery” category. Honestly, that really makes me feel a bit better about our decision. While there are some women who seem to feel that it’s not a “real” birth if you don’t squeeze the kiddo out of your vagina, I’m not one of those women.
That being said, I will admit that I’m starting to get more than a bit anxious. On one hand, I’m just ready to have this over with. My nerves are starting to flare up, and I’m pretty much just doing whatever I can to stay busy and distracted right now (which is why I’m at work despite the fact that people are telling me I’m crazy for not staying home and taking it easy). I’m sure tonight may be a bit on the long side, and tomorrow morning may feel like an eternity. I’m also more than ready to see this creature that’s been squirming around in my gut for months. What will she be like? What will she look like? Will and I went out for one final dinner last night, just the 2 of us, and you really can’t help but speculate what kind of personality she may have. He and I are both very different, so it will be rather interesting to see which of us she takes after more, if either of us.
One thing that does make me unbelievably happy, and something that I’ve probably waited longer for than anything, is shopping for her first Halloween costume. I guess some girls dream of big weddings. Some girls dream of dressing their own little girls in pink fluffy dresses (or their little boys in blue sailor suits). I can honestly say that the one time of year I’ve always felt that having a kid would kick the most major ass in the world is Halloween. My choices are limitless. Granted, she won’t know the difference and may well roll her eyes at me in the next 10-18 years when she sees herself as a 5 week old in some goofy costume, but hey…..This is my thing. I’ve waited for it. I will have it. I don’t know quite yet what she’ll be, but my kid will have a killer Halloween costume. I’m excited that she’ll be here in time to do it this year.
In the meantime, I’m trying not to stew today, and am doing my best to eat (since it’s nothing after midnight tonight) and be as merry as possible. I have a bunch of silly shows on the DVR to watch and try to not think (sorry, mom, but we’re watching some cooking shows tonight). Tomorrow will be a very big day.