I’m a bit late, but it’s been very much on my mind that Stella and I have officially marked our 4 week anniversary together. As with so many things, it’s one of those occasions where it seems like it’s been forever, yet it seems like a blink of an eye. I couldn’t tell you how many diapers there have been, or feedings, or hours lost (or logged) of sleep. Some days I feel like a champion (yesterday). Other days I feel like an overwhelmed rookie (closer to today). One universal law is that it is next to impossible to talk on the phone. Ever. Inevitably, she is either screaming or about to. That’s frustrating. (To anyone who knows me enough to know my phone number, I suggest texting or e-mail for a while. I’ll get you back when I can!)
It would be impossible to summarize all of the changes that have occurred. I will, however, try to capture a few (in no particular order):
1) Sounds: Stella used to make this cute little squeak when she cried at birth. She lost that after a few days. Gradually, her cry has transitioned from weak newborn whimpering to full-blown hollering. We always know when a meltdown is imminent, as it is preceded by this “cacking” noise; cacks are not quite coughs, not quite verbal sounds. Cacking is pretty funny and uber dramatic. When not screaming in our faces, she is starting to make new sounds. Her latest? This odd little chittering-type sound, very reminiscent of The Predator. Will got freaked out this morning when he heard it for the first time, and anxiously checked the alarm system.
2) The Couch: Our poor couch will never be the same. It’s become our nest – the mother ship. I have attempted to keep all surfaces covered with blankets, but between the angry-pigeoning of the first few weeks (which luckily seems to be passing), the shower-jet urination, the milk stains (this is from me…I can’t blame that on Stella), the baby puke, and the inevitable food spillage which results as I sometimes frantically try to stuff something into my mouth one handed while frantically trying to stuff my boob into Stella’s mouth, some disasters have occurred. Most of these upsets have been contained by the afore-mentioned blankets. Others will require cleaning at a later date. What can you do?
3) Me, myself, and I: Just a few random thoughts…..There are parts of my stomach which resemble the skin of the Saggy Baggy Elephant of Little Golden Books fame. I hope that gradually returns to normal. My weight? Already pre-pregnancy, and has been since week 2 postpartum. Gotta love breastfeeding. My feet still look downright skinny to me, after several months of cankling. Best of all? I can get in all of my old shoes!!!
4) Dick Clark would NOT approve: When your kid is screaming, you will sing or make any type of sound to turn the kid off. Stella gets “lullabies” consisting of an odd mélange of made-up nursery songs (peppered with “cacks” in order to make it more relatable), the Ramones, Radiohead, the Pixies, and Jane’s Addiction. In those extreme moments, your mind just frantically reaches for any song you can pull out of your ass, so the oldies (for me) are what usually result. Will’s favorite seems to be “The KKK Took My Baby Away.” Perhaps inappropriate, but she doesn’t know any better.
I’m sure about 10 more things will pop in my head later, but my tiny dictator is being benevolent at the moment and I’m aware that my luck will run out at any second. Cack. Cack.