For some reason, I found myself inexplicably blue the past couple of days. I have had the hardest time putting my finger on it, but I can only assume it is one of those “my life has changed completely” things. It occurred to me that this weekend marks one year since Will and I spent the weekend in New Orleans. We really lived it up! Some friends of mine had given us a hugely generous Gallatoire’s gift card as a wedding gift, and we went out and had a wonderful meal. For the occasion, we got a room at the Monteleone, which meant we were free to cavort without worrying about being sober for the drive home. We even spent time on Bourbon Street (not our usual thing). It was unusually cold for us, and I can remember icicles hanging from the wrought iron balconies of the Quarter and frozen fountains in all the courtyards. That was a bittersweet time, as we were trying to shake off the blues from the miscarriage. It was also the first time we were free to try to get pregnant again. It was a great time. I’m 95% sure Stella was conceived that weekend (hence the name…particularly since I had just watched Streetcar right before).
I guess I miss those times. Now, whenever I speak with family on the phone or friends at work and am asked “so what have y’all been up to?” I have nothing to say other than “baby stuff.” Will and I were always out and about doing something: kayaking, camping, experimenting with food, trying some odd craft or project. Don’t get me wrong: I would not change one minute of Stella time, and paradoxically, I get misty at thinking of her growing up and losing this wonderful babyness (like holding her with that sweet warm fuzzy baby head under my chin), yet I’m also anxious for her to get bigger so that we can get back out there and do stuff. Not Bourbon Street (although it will be nice to once in a while leave her with a relative for an odd night here or there so that we can go), but things like the zoo or the Jungle Gardens at Avery Island.
On the heels of my down mood, we had a great Saturday in keeping with our new family status. Stella attended her first birthday party (her BFF’s first birthday) followed by a trip to a bookstore for coffee and a visit with old friends. As I write this she’s sacked out on the couch, worn out from the day’s activities. I will have things to report next time I’m asked. That’s a good feeling.