This morning, Stella woke up around 6:00 AM for a feeding. As she nursed, I was trying to decide if I could get her down for one more chunk of sleep. As she was finishing on one side, she looked up at me, grinned, and then adopted that deep look of concentration that babies get only when they are moving their bowels. Sure enough, that thunderous squirting noise followed and I felt something land in her pants that felt like a bowling ball being dropped into a paper sack. It was time to go to work.
In the dim light, I could see what looked like damp spots spreading down one side of her romper. I could only cross my fingers that it was sweat or pee. Alas it was not. As I unsnapped her suit, I was confronted with a huge amount of poo.
This was one of those poo moments I haven’t had in quite a while. This was not one of those suits which snaps the whole way down the front, necessitating removal over the head. I had just bathed the baby the night before, so you can imagine my extra reluctance in pulling a poo-soaked romper over her clean and sweet-smelling head. What to do first? Mop up the poo lake in the leg of her suit? Get the diaper – what must certainly be a diaper to end all diapers if this much had streamed out – off of her?
I improvised. After gathering a huge pile of wipes and some plastic grocery bags, I began. If it had been an old/small suit, I would have cut it off of her body like an ER doc. Instead, Stella finally was able to experience the squeezing sensation of birth, as I shimmied this now-stinky romper down her body. I then went to work on the outside of the body/diaper, wiping up as much foulness as I was able. When the outside was as clean as possible, I was ready to peel back the final layer. I was shocked. When I opened up that diaper, what I saw was largely immaculate whiteness. Only about 2% of that poo had landed in the diaper. In my fatigue I must have missed the fact that the elastic leg band wasn’t laying quite right against her skin. That elastic became the switch which diverted to poo train out of the diaper and down her left leg.
Note to self: Always, always check the elastic from now on.