The Bite Runner

The teething phenomenon seems to be reaching a crescendo.  It’s as if someone has taken my sweet little girl and replaced her with some kind of demonic half rodent/half puppy.  She’s chewing on absolutely everything, be it animal, vegetable, or mineral.  I’ve caught her gnawing on bits of a wooden chair.  I’ve caught her trying to nosh on the coffee table legs.  A few days ago, she bit one of the cats (who handled it quite well, I’m pleased to say).  She also chews on things one would expect: teething rings, toys, blankets, clothing, food, pacifiers.  Nothing is immune.

She’s even chewed on me from time to time.  My leg was a favorite for a while, as was my chin.  It used to be cute until she actually grew a tooth.  Now, not so much.  She’s recently been expressing her joy at seeing me when I pick her up after work by chewing on my shoulder.  I have bruising.

What prompted this blog, however, are the newly-perforated nipples I’m sporting.  Sure, I had seen on message boards and What to Expect (WTE) that biting while nursing was a bit of a common fear.  WTE states that babies can’t maintain a latch while biting.  If biting does occur, they suggest that you simply break the hold gently with a finger and firmly say “no.”  I call bullshit, ma’am.  That’s impossible.  For starters, your initial gut reaction when one of your highly-sensitive parts is suddenly clamped down upon is to drop or shove away the offending party.  You can’t do that with you kid.  Secondly, an 8.5 month old kid really doesn’t seem to comprehend so well why it’s ok to chew on some things and not on others.  Nursing has become a game of Russian Roulette.  Usually early mornings and late evenings are safe, but otherwise I am taking my nipples into my own hands (not literally, of course).

I know all kids teethe.  That’s ok.  I just wish Stella’s teeth would just come on and come in.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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