A Tree Gross in Brooklyn

Kids are gross.  I remember Stella’s nanny telling me that a while back.  I kind of agreed but I don’t think I really “got it” until recently.  They certainly have no awareness of germs, hygiene, or cleanliness.  You can’t blame them.  They’re tiny kids with no experience.  That doesn’t mean it’s not gag-inducing for the rest of us.

They tell you that kids will put anything in their mouths, and they’re not lying.  While we haven’t had much in the way of choking scares, it does seem like the more revolting an item, the more desirable it is.  Stella loves to chew on the soles of shoes.  A second favorite are her stroller tires.  I guess it feels good to her gums.  But all we can see/think of is the nastiness that those shoes and tires have traversed.

During the height of the recent bout with the germ from hell, there was a whole lot of snot.  Kids, incidentally, hate to have their noses wiped.  It’s as if you’re trying to give them a nose job without anesthetic, the way they behave!  Whenever I began to succumb to the germ, I simply didn’t have the energy to fight it all the time.  We were in the house, going nowhere.  Who cares if she’s snotty?  Well, with that attitude, I got snot-prints over everything…my shirts, pj bottoms, the couch.  It is like a cute little shroud of Turin made of nasal secretions.  Yes, I did clean up the couch.  The couch doesn’t flail and wail when you wipe it off.

It’s rare that food can simply be placed in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.  I picked her up from her nanny’s the other day and was told of the “grossest thing” she had seen in a while.  It seems Stella got a hold of a chicken nugget and proceeded to suck the breading off.  She then carried the pasty white and soggy bit of chicken meat around for a while.  I am kind of glad I missed that one.  I do, however, get a whole lot of putting in the mouth/chewing/spitting out/putting back in the mouth/chewing some more/swallowing.  I swear, I haven’t let her watch The Fly.

It will probably only get worse as she gets even more inquisitive (I can’t really say mobile, as she’s already heart-stoppingly fast).  Preparing for her bath the other day, I caught her almost in time as she reached into the commode to splash about.  Fortunately, I had JUST cleaned it.  I got it quick enough to drag the offending hand to the sink and promptly disinfect it before it could find its way to toys and her little mouth.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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