Some days in mommydom make your head spin. This has been one of those days. It started benignly enough. We even made it to her pediatrician appointment without any incident. The trouble started then. She hates to be weighed/measured. I think it’s the same thing that causes her to flip out every time you even get her near an exam table or baby changing station. I just don’t think she feels secure on those things (including sitting on the baby scale). Finally, the nurse had to do the old weigh mom + baby then subtract mom’s weight. Humiliating (I hate being weighed, damn it) at the very least. Stressful whenever your kid tears off across the doctor’s office and goes screaming into an exam room. Her height was worse. She wouldn’t stand still against the wall for that method, so they tried to lay her on the table and mark the paper. It took 4 attempts, and I’m pretty sure the final number is off more than 2 standard deviations.
Oh, and during the melee she pooped, so she stunk.
This was her 18 month old checkup, so we were going to be discussing the lack of talking. I was given an assessment form, which was, of course, designed to screen for autism spectrum disorders. She passed. I hadn’t even been worried about that one. Ultimately, we will be assessed by some group (First Steps or something like that) to see if we need any kind of therapy. Her doc said he really felt all was well, and that if there was a delay, it was a mild one. Still, my heart wanted to hear “she’s fine.” Stay tuned. I’m supposed to be contacted within a week. As a plus, she was a champ for her shot. They let me hold her on my lap, bypassing the evil exam table.
After a fairly quiet afternoon, we received a box from UPS containing a climber/slide my mom had ordered for her. It was made by Step 2, which is worth mentioning only because it’s the same company that made her cute little patio table and chairs that her other grandmother had given her. That thing was a breeze to put together, so I figured I’d tackle the slider. Probably a mistake. Still, after much cussing, drilling (which I’ve never done unattended in my life – I guess I earned a new merit badge today), and barely-refraining-from-throwing-a-fucking-piece-across-the-kitchen, I did it. Then I couldn’t get it out of the kitchen. It was too big.
So I measured. I thought it would fit out the back sliding glass doors. So I lifted the thing over my kitchen island into the living room. There, Stella loved it. I could barely get her off of it for me to attempt to get it outside. The slider was too small, no matter what angle I attempted to maneuver it through. Finally, I resorted to the front door. Winner!
Once outside, guess what happened…..Stella went straight to picking weeds and collecting sticks. She wanted no part of the toy that I killed myself assembling and then getting outside. This was made even better when I caught her chewing on a pebble and then twirling a really funny-looking stick that turned out to be a dead baby snake. Then a bird pooped and some landed on my hand. We went back inside at that point.
We’re watching cartoons for the rest of the day. I really just don’t care if that’s a good thing to do or not at this point.