I posted a blog last week about crab legs and my pregnancy-induced lust for them. To be fair, I love crab legs anyway. Once upon a time, Red Lobster would run all-you-can-eat crab leg specials. I was embarrassing. I probably could have entered some kind of competitive eating championship. People in this part of the world would be doubly offended, as A) frozen snow crab legs aren’t considered “good” crabs down here – they like blue crabs boiled in a hell-broth (it’s often quite spicy), and B) as an extension of A, Red Lobster isn’t “real” seafood. I really can understand B. This is a huge seafood and cuisine-driven part of the world, and what the big chain sells is product not commonly associated with the Gulf of Mexico.
ANYWAY, I had been dreaming and drooling over crab. I blogged about it. Within 3 days, I had crab gifted to me on 2 separate occasions. On occasion 1, my sweet friend dropped off enough crab to feed 6 people along with a pound of butter. It was a total surprise and definitely ranks as one of the sweetest things anyone outside of my family has ever done for me. I was nice and gave Will some. Then on Sunday, Will’s parents took us to Joe’s crab shack for Crab Legs Take Two. I have been a happy camper. This certainly has helped to make up for the saltine-and-toast days I’ve been enjoying a whole lot lately.
But how odd??? I’m not a lucky person. If you take me to a casino and give me $20 for the slot machines you will not see a dime of that money ever again, as it will be forever locked in the bowels of the machine. Snow crab legs aren’t like cucumbers or tomatoes in a summer garden. People don’t just bring them to work with a “Free – Take Some” sign due to abundance.
So on the off-chance that this is some kind of electronic magic, I’d like to humbly request from the ether-space any or all of the following: a tripling of my current salary, trips to Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, and/or Italy, a pair of Christian Louboutin black pumps (size 9), $5000 gift cards for Toys R Us and Carter’s, a guest-spot on one of those complete makeover shows where they fix your house to your specifications as well as your physique (after the new baby’s born, of course), a baobab tree for my yard (as well as a biosphere for it to grow in, as from what I read it doesn’t respond well to abundant moisture), and a legal and legitimate way to annihilate fire ants from the planet.