Nights have just become a whole lot more interesting around our house. Nearly a week ago, Stella figured out that she could vault out of her crib. There was no trial and error. There was not a single bonk or tumble. She sprung out and came chasing me one night and that’s been it. For the rest of that week, we just let her sleep with me in our bed, as everything I read suggested that unless you wanted to use a crib tent (which seems just really wrong and mean not to mention inadequate to contain my kid), you needed to put them in a “big kid” bed immediately for safety reasons. Will converted her crib Saturday.
I figured the first night would be awful, that she’d never go to sleep. I was wrong about that part. I got her to sleep the usual way, reading stories in our bed. The transfer to her bed went unbelievably well, as it’s easier to put down a 30’ish pound toddler when you don’t have to lift them so high to clear a rail. She proceeded to sleep for 3 hours straight and I was so excited. But that’s when the marauding commenced.
The first time she woke, I found her standing by her bed and was able to pat her back down easily. The next time, she was out and about and it took about an hour to try to get her back to sleep. She recognize immediately that she was able to walk around and there were toys everywhere and “hey, what’s that?” I couldn’t get her back in her bed. She got down on the floor with me beside her bed for a while, but then succumbed to the siren song of her toy shopping cart and the stuffed Grover inside. Ultimately, I couldn’t stay awake any more so we just went to our bed. Again. I have no idea how to curtail the marauding. She’s now been in our bed pretty much for a week and a half straight.
Another side effect of sleeping with a toddler is acne. Between the pregnancy hormones and Stella rubbing up against my face all night, I not only have regular, primary zits, I have managed secondary and tertiary zits. I didn’t think that was possible. I didn’t have this kind of horror while in the throes of high school. And of course there’s the kicking. Last night I was dreaming that I felt the new baby kick- hard. Instead, Stella had her foot jammed in my abdomen. That was better than the kick to the boob or the occasional throat shot I got later. Somehow, she worms her way to the very top of the bed where her face mashes into the headboard. This puts vital organs in range of her feet. I also often feel as if I’m in some modern rendition of the Princess and Pea, as more than once I have been awakened by a sharp stabbing pain in my ribcage only to find out that a nu-nu has somehow managed to work its way under my body.
I’d nickname Stella “the Rooster,” except at least roosters have the decency to wait until the sun comes up. Crispi takes great delight in this, as I was a notorious early-riser when I was a young child. I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen once BX gets here. I kind of can’t even bring myself to think about it. I really had thought that by now, we’d be back to “normal” in the house during the nighttime. I now have to recognize that not only will I be dealing with regular sleep deprivation that comes with a new baby, I’ll have the residual activity from Stella. I honestly don’t think that she will sleep regularly for any significant duration of time. I may get a few good nights here and there, but that’ll be it. We may just have to take all the mattresses in the house, put them all together on a floor somewhere, and just hope for the best.