To Serve and Neglect

I sometimes feel a bit guilty, as if I’m already neglecting BY.  I’ve said a zillion times that this pregnancy is so different and that I simply am so busy with Stella, Will, work, the house, etc that I have no time to sit around and dwell on it.

In the time before Stella, we totally spoiled our pets. Our Xmas cards yearly pictured our bearded dragon – first Mr. Sexy, then Bowser.  Each year the cats got a stocking and we took pictures of them opening what Santa brought.  Don’t judge.  I had read that once a baby came, the “furry babies” got replaced and tended not to get even half of their previous amount of attention.  I think that’s a conservative estimate.  I feel/felt terrible.  Everyone still gets fed, but the cats are definitely the lowest rung on the totem pole.  It was Bowser until we adopted him out recently.

He really was cute when he was a baby

I’ve lived in fear that one of my children would become a cat or a Bowser.  How can one mommy possibly come up with enough love and attention for 2 young kids?  By this point in Stella’s belly time, I would put headphones on so she could rock out to some Social Distortion and Beethoven and Will would read to her almost every night.  How often has that happened this time?  Zero times.  Not at all.

As BY moves around more and more, I suppose on some level I am starting to feel a bit more connected.  I also now indulge in the universal pregnant pose, with at least one hand resting on my belly at every given opportunity.  At home and in private, I am the Al Bundy of the female world, with my hand even tucked into the front of my pants.  He seems to kick more on the lower half of the abdomen for now.

Otherwise, it’s just so weird.  We’ve bought nothing.  I cannot for the life of me seem to make myself sit still and think about where a new crib should go, or a new dresser.  I’m assuming the kids will be sharing a room for a long while (until they get older and it gets creepy for 2 kids of different gender to cohabitate) but honestly we haven’t sat down and talked about that or a timeframe for it.  I just feel like a total slacker.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in Parenting, pregnancy and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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