Sometimes I get really really into this whole blog thing. When at the office, I can easily blow an entire lunch break on blogs, chasing the tags and categories that are near and dear to me – namely pregnancy and parenthood stuff. It’s kind of an obsession sometimes. I suppose it’s the whole kindred spirit thing – the feeling that you’re not alone out there, that there are others that are getting kicked inside and out, pooped upon, and fighting the please dear god eat something fight.
I guess it’s also educational. I think the nucleation point for my blogging was really my miscarriage. At that awful moment in time it was only the stories of others that made it somewhat ok, seeing that just because this horrible thing had happened, I/we were not doomed to repeat it or to never experience what it’s like to produce a fantastic life out of shared primordial goo. I’ve learned tricks to try and pitfalls to avoid on all sorts of topics: feeding, sleeping, juggling the many hats we moms must wear, delivery methods, and most recently potty training1. It’s also historical. Sometimes I just pick a random old post of mine and start reading. It’s scary and sad what you forget, and while not every post is something worth remembering, much of it is. I hope someday Stella and BY may want to check in on what was going on.
I’ve never been one who’s had a lot of friends. I have a lot of people that I would call acquaintances or that I just plain am ok with being around, but as far as loads of “girl friends” or those that you get together with once a week? I guess I’ve just never been wired that way. The idea of “girls’ night” or a “girls’ trip” is just an odd one to me, particularly now that I have a kiddo. I sometimes wish I had more ties like that, as I can see the benefit of kindred spirits and wisdom that can only come from those who have already slogged through the diaper pile (or corporate world, or food-encrusted dishes, or marriage blunders) in the same pumps/bedroom slippers I’m trying to wear. But I’m too introverted and honestly it’s hard for me to “share” with people in the flesh. Here, I guess there is some safety in pseudo-anonymity. While I know that occasionally “real” friends and family check in on what I’m posting – and hence I do often censor what I say – I can release my angst or the incredibly goofy and demented images/phrases that sometimes pop into my head into the universe and move on.
Lately, I’ve been getting more “likes” and followers. And from total strangers, too! Call me silly and narcissistic but I feel like I’ve won the lottery when that happens. It’s neat to think that someone spent a single moment of their own precious time reading even a sentence that I threw out there. It’s also Xmas for me when I find a really great post or blogger in all the venom and muck. I appreciate each and every one of those/you.
And with that, nebulous blogworld family and friends, I leave you to your day. No funny poop stories today or lamentations about how tired and overwhelmed I am. Just some love.
1 I need to start wading into the whole circumcision thing now, but honestly I’m very afraid. When trying to decide whether or not to go the C-section route with Stella, I learned the hard way that people are MEAN about this stuff. Same with sleeping, breastfeeding, diapering, educating, vaccinations. I can only imagine what I’m going to uncover just trying to find solid, impartial information.