Momfucius Says (Or Bits of Wisdom Learned From My Kid):

Even though it shares a source, your water tastes better than mine.

A diaper in the purse is worth two on the butt.

Play Doh under fingernails has the heft of a million stones.

Every rendition of Twinkle Twinkle is as unique as a snowflake; clapping is required after each performance.

When I cover my eyes, I really am not there.  You are to pretend I have left the room and loudly question my whereabouts.

The tiniest of nostril is capable of the greatest of boogers.

Like sand in an hourglass, so are the crumbs on the couch.

Both are from nature.  Therefore, your arm, hair, and a paper napkin can absorb the pancake syrup from my hands.

I am a tiny god.  The blocks in this sealed container are the materials with which I shall make my universe.  As with the Big Bang, this material must be broadcast far and wide.  After 15 billion years, it will begin to contract back into the container.  Or until I nap, at which point you may pick it up.

The only things worth remembering and repeating are the things I should not have heard in the first place.

You will get 2.75 minutes to eat per meal whereas I am allowed up to 28 minutes.  You are older and have done more bad things.  Therefore, this is right and good.

I've been eating this quesadilla since November 15, 2011.

I’ve been eating this quesadilla since November 15, 2011.

I may not remember your name, but I remember what candy is.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in House and home, Parenting, pregnancy, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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