I’ve lost the ability to put a coherent sentence together, much less a complete sentence. It seems I’m constantly being sidetracked or distracted. By Stella fingerpainting in egg yolk and milk (egg tempera and gesso, anyone?), the colossal sound of wooden blocks being dumped on the floor from the tallest possible height my 3’+ toddler can reach, from Felix beginning to grumble, or Will – with his own ADD issues – moving in and out of the room mid-sentence or interrupting me with his own stream of consciousness. Stella also talks so much, and is absolutely insistent that you respond or otherwise acknowledge what she’s lecturing about, that I often feel drunk. It’s a sensory barrage.
It’s starting to wear thin. I’m thinking I need to just stop trying to speak. It’s not worth it. Will has noticed that half the time before I begin to speak, I heave a heavy sigh as if I’m in a perpetual state of misery. Or sometimes it takes me a long while to answer a simple question. That’s if I answer at all. I often hear the question but choose not to respond, figuring what’s the point? I won’t be able to get the answer out anyway and even if I do no adult will be there to hear. And if speaking – an “instantaneous” action – takes so much effort and time, what of writing/blogging? HA! It’s taken me a total of 6 days to jot down 2 paragraphs. I have notes on 3 more blogs that I’m just itching to get out of my brain, but haven’t had time in 4.5 days to write anything at all.
Is this just the result of being home with 2 kids for over a month? Is it some kind of mommy cabin fever which will clear up once I’m back out amongst the living and driving??