Burnt To a Crispi

It is with a heavy heart that I must report that Crispi has gone back to her regular life and has departed our ecosystem.  I can’t complain (much).  She gave us several weeks before Felix’s arrival to help chase Stella when I was a pregnant leviathan and she stayed for 6 more weeks.  I don’t know many girls who have mothers who would do that.

Crispi facilitates an early encounter between Stella and her new little brother

Crispi facilitates an early encounter between Stella and her new little brother

It hasn’t been easy and goodness knows it wasn’t always fun.  Stella has a whole lot of stamina and can pretty much chew up and spit out every grown up she’s encountered.  Crispi is also like me in that she’s an introvert.  People, even adorable little ones, that talk all the live-long day wear us the hell out.  Like Stella’s father and I, Crispi wilted after several weeks.  Her arrivals each day got later and later, and often her departures got earlier and earlier.  I can’t blame her.  I’d show up late and leave early around here some days, too, if I could.  There are also the moments where it’s just plain difficult having another strong-willed adult around. There was some head-butting from time to time, but no blood was spilled.

Stella's first pedicure ever

Stella’s first pedicure ever

I’ve been dreading her departure.  With these 2 kids, things go from calm to incredibly stupid and stressful in nanoseconds.  Just the other day I got a great glimpse of what the next 2-4 weeks of my life will be like Monday through Friday (I’m still trying to iron out my actual return to work date).  Stella, who is half-heartedly into this potty training thing in that she will sit on her potty chair and talk about making a deposit all day but never actually does, strips from time to time.  She had not yet pooped that day and had eaten 2 pears for dinner the night before.  That’s a lot of fiber.  She got naked.  I was trying to nurse Felix and just couldn’t get up to catch her in time.  I also happened to be talking to my boss on the phone.  Yes, I knew that my daughter was essentially a little loaded gun, full of fecal matter, but I gambled, choosing not to disrupt the infant and speak to one of the few big people I’d had a conversation with in ages.

I lost.  Next thing I know, I hear “peeyuu skinky,” as she crouched under the coffee table.   Sure enough, there was a big old poop on the floor.  I got off the phone with my boss very rudely, saying only “I have poop on the floor.  Gottagobye”, and tried to prevent Stella from getting her poo-smeared butt on the couch like a dog who drags its butt across a carpet.  I had to put Felix down quickly.  He screamed.  I still had a boob out.  It squirted.  Stella didn’t know whether to laugh and play chase as I tried to wipe her butt or scream in irritation.  It was just dumb.  And messy.  And boy, would an extra set of hands have been miraculous at that moment.  And those moments happen pretty frequently with 2 little people around.



I know we’ll all live.  It just probably won’t be as fun and it sure as hell won’t be easy.  I don’t know that I’ll get to eat much for a while, at least not A) warm food, B) food that requires utensils, C) without dripping crumbs or egg yolks on the nursing baby, D) unless I get a pinch-hitter to wrangle the kids, E) Jupiter aligns with Mars and Stella is eating quietly while Felix sleeps, leaving parental hands free for holding forks.  Bathing will also get a bit more difficult.  I’m hoping maybe I can convince Stella to shower with me.  We’ll see.

So to Crispi:  thanks for your help.  I don’t know how we would have survived without you.  But I still may occasionally curse you under my breath as you get further away from all this.  When are you coming back??

Day before departure, decorating what are supposed to be egg-shaped cookies.  Another baking fail on my part.

Day before departure, decorating what are supposed to be egg-shaped cookies. Another baking fail on my part.

About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in House and home, Parenting and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Burnt To a Crispi

  1. my27stars says:

    But what’s super awesome about your stressful life is how HUH-LARIOUS these stories will be once you actually get a full night’s sleep and a whole meal in peace. 🙂 Keep fighting the good fight, sounds like you’re doing great!

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