I love my kids. Really, I do. And I love my husband. Most of the time. All that being said, Will and I have not been having a really great time lately, separately or apart. First there was me being pregnant. Then recovery from a section. And then just the general fun of raising 2 children under the age of 3 while juggling jobs and taking care of whatever else needs to be done around the house. We both stay pretty stressed out. We rarely get to really spend time together and when we do, we’re tired, irritable, and tend to speak only of the kids: who pooped, who was in a mood, who needs what new garment or pair of shoes.
We finally kind of reached a place where we knew we needed to get away, STAT. We’ve gone out to dinner/lunch a couple of times, but that’s over quickly and isn’t really fun. We wanted fun. I was foolish enough to briefly suggest camping (cabin, of course), but Will wisely talked me off of that ledge. That pretty much left New Orleans. Oui Oui agreed to let us drop both kids off, and off we went to the French Quarter for the afternoon.
We did our usual. We have a list of places we like to check out shopping-wise, and a few places we like to stop to get a cocktail or snack. I will say for the record that once upon a time, I could really hold my liquor. I’ve never been a “shot” girl, mainly sticking to red wine with the occasional gin and tonic thrown in. Since having kids, I haven’t consumed more than 2-3 drinks at a time, and even that was rare and over a year ago at this point. Usually I will have a single glass of wine. Period. Even when I’m not nursing, I’m too paranoid that I’ll sleep through a nightmare or bad cough or otherwise be unavailable to a kiddo who needs mommy.
I’ll blame the beginning of the descent on Will. At our first stop for chicken wings and a drink, he ordered us each a double shot: tequila for him and gin for me. I did protest. But not enough. The rest of the day I stuck to wine, but I think that liquor unbalanced me from the get-go. I ended up with a vicious case of hiccups that left my esophagus feeling bruised for the next 24 hours. I am now officially a lightweight.
We smoked a cigar. It was awful. I’m glad about that. To clarify, Will and I are both reformed smokers. For years now we thought we missed cigars and didn’t want to possibly reopen Pandora’s box by having one. Pandora can keep her box. I think her box is a humidor. We both felt a bit queasy from it, something which would have been unthinkable 8 years ago. I think that’s a successful experiment. I never want to see a cigar again.
We ran into traffic after picking up the kids so dinner and bath were late and totally thrown off. I wasn’t able to get my usual pre-workday checklist done (lunches packed, diaper bag ready, breast pump stocked and prepared next to my laptop) which left me feeling stressed and uneasy that night and the next day. I had to feed Felix via bottles for hours, which I HATED. Pumping and dumping seems like such a waste and I felt like a terrible horrible selfish bitch for at least briefly polluting my kid’s food supply.
Despite all that, it was very nice to be out and about with Will without the kids. We need to make that more of a priority from time to time vs. always using any babysitting Oui Oui gives us to do projects or play catch-up. We need a balance and we need time to connect, just the grown ups. I just need to find a way to relax my brain without having to go an hour away and drinking too much. That’s the hard part for me; when we stay local, the responsibilities are too close and the urge to take care of them too tempting.