Nearly 2 weeks after going back to work, I found myself saying “thank god I’m now sterile, as I don’t think I could stomach filling out all this GD FMLA paperwork again.” Man, it’s obnoxious. Forget the STD videos and the assignments where kids have to schlep bags of flour around for a week, FMLA paperwork would be pretty good birth control. Or at least it would be if you were a future government entity worker. With that automatically comes an extra 4th layer of bureaucracy.
I got a call from Will the same morning. He had been jumping with Stella in the trampoline and she didn’t want to come in and when he finally made her she threw up. Had this happened to me? What should he do? Ummmmm. Did you feed her a big breakfast? Yes? Clean her up and watch her.
About 15 minutes later, a text: How long can you leave bottles out? Felix doesn’t want to eat. Then: Never mind. It’s cold. I forgot to heat it up.
I could only hope that he hosed the puke off of the trampoline before he went to work and it baked on in the afternoon sun.
Happy mother’s day to you all out there. You just can’t make this shit up.