Help or High Water

Things aren’t going so hot these days.

We were called to come in Friday for yet another meeting with Stella’s school.  Seriously, this has got to be a record for a not-quite-3-year-old.  I predicted more of the same:  she’s randomly hollering, her eye contact is poor, she talks more at us than to us.  I was right, but we got a whole lot  more.

The director added that in addition to the above, she rapidly transitioned from activity to activity.  The director translated this as “stressed” behavior.  They also find that Stella shows a lack of facial expression.    Are we seeing this at home?  No?

Then the big bomb:  they don’t feel they’re “adequately addressing Stella’s educational needs at this time in a full-time capacity.”  In short: we are being forced to go to half days, at least for now.  Unless we could afford a “shadow,” a grown-up who basically goes to school with Stella to keep her on the straight and narrow.  Expensive and (hello?) obtrusive.

I’m angry.  I’m pissed.  And yes, I’m reacting emotionally right now.  I’d rather be angry than heartbroken – that while Stella loves school, school doesn’t love her back.

Who would have thought sending a little girl to preschool would be so freaking hard?

I just can’t believe they won’t give us a bit more time.  We have a neurologist appointment in 3 weeks.  The school readily admits her behavior has improved.  So why boot her out now?  She’s not violent.  She’s not aggressive.

Doesn’t matter, I guess.  We don’t have a choice.

Leaving today was really hard, despite the fact I need some time and quiet to sort myself out.  I have serious misgivings about sending her to school knowing they don’t really “want” her there.  I wanted to cry.

If I had my way I’d just tell them to fuck off and keep her home. If I had my way, we’d have some help.   If I had my way I’d find a better school willing to work with us.  I know, however, that the best thing for her now is to socialize with her peers.  That’s part of her issue.

At the end of the day, I do know this:  Stella is our little girl and she’s magnificent.  I don’t believe for a second that whatever “this” is, it’s terminal.  I think that we very well might have a communication disorder, but that it can be rehabbed away, or at least mitigated to a point where Stella can live a normal happy  life.

I’m just so damn tired.  Where the hell is Mary Poppins when you need her?


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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6 Responses to Help or High Water

  1. Doug Haywick says:

    Every kid is unique. The problem is that all schools are designed for one type of kid (“average”, “normal”) and if your kid doesn’t fall within that category, there is a problem. Well here’s the problem. By teaching to the curve, we are reducing the very uniqueness that makes America the leading technological and innovative country on the planet. All will work out in the end for Stella in school and beyond. You being angry at the lack of patience in the school system is “normal.”

    • larva225 says:

      Thanks, Doug. I’ve been seriously kicking myself, though, for getting that geo degree. I think I should’ve stuck with special ed. Then, I could have “fixed” this myself, perhaps.
      Just kidding. Give me rocks or give me death.

  2. Amber Perea says:

    Awwwww mamma, I’m SO sorry! I find it so hard to fathom that that beautiful smiling girl isn’t making facial expressions! I wish you lived closer and I would be her nanny. I’m becoming quite the communication expert (forced, of course). I’m sure Stella will be fine! She’s just too spirited for those fuddy-duddy’s. Good for her. She marches to the beat of her own drum. And past a certain age eye contact is thoroughly overrated! 🙂


    • larva225 says:

      Thanks. I’m googling myself crazy. I actually think Semantic/Pragmatic Disorder may be a culprit. But what do I know? Still, it’s something to bring to neuro.
      I appreciate the encouragement and it would be nice to have you closer. Stella and JP could hang out!

      • Amber Perea says:

        Okay, do you have an email I can send you some info to save you some time? I am all up to date with the new changes to the DSM-V revisions and could just send you the links.

        They just changed all of the classifications (after 20 years-believe that?!) and Semantic Pragmatic Disorder is no longer. As is PDD-NOS, Asberger’s, or any variation. Now it’s just Autism I, II, and III.

        Wild, huh? Our developmental appt is in a few weeks, too.

        They also have a new one called “Social Communication Disorder” that children with pragmatic issues may fall to that won’t class as autistic. But I can send you all of that if you like, just let me know.

        Oh, how I wished Stella lived here! I would love Jp to have a friend that is perfectly on his level. No more, no less ( I am writing a blog post about that exact thing right now as we speak- Irony!).

        Keep your head up!

      • larva225 says:

        Thanks and good info to know! I think WP gets goofy with emails, so I just found you on FB and sent a friend request (if that’s ok).

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