The Moan Ranger

After the bombshell of being forced to go to half-time at Stella’s school, I started looking at everyone’s calendars.  I already have/had work obligations scheduled for next week, and with Will working retail, a blood sacrifice (goat or virgin, or virginal goat for extra credit) is required to get time off, and that’s only if you make said sacrifice 3 months prior.  To make matters worse, Oui  Oui and about 73% of Will’s people are scheduled to be in Honduras.  In short, we’re kind of screwed.  We have no options that don’t require missing work – a pretty good chunk of it.

I had been watching all week to see if I could catch the Director in her office.  She had mentioned that we could go full time one more week, “maybe 2.”  I was going to throw myself on her mercy and beg for that “maybe 2,” at which point we would slink off quietly into the night.  I took Stella to school yesterday morning and realized we were running out of time to address this.  While the Director wasn’t there, the Town Crier was.  So, I asked to speak with her to plead our case.  I got a rather snooty “All I can do is take it to the Director” spiel, and was sent packing.  Not 20 minutes after I got home, I was called to say that that just wasn’t possible, that they had “already made arrangements for Stella to go half time.”

Is it wrong for me to occasionally wish that Stella would bite people?

I know y’all are sick of my bitching, but come on.  My kid isn’t aggressive or violent.  The worst thing she’s apparently doing is not talking to kids or teachers and occasionally letting out a random bellow.  Obnoxious, but I would say within limits.  She’s improving every week, both at home and school.  And yet they can’t work with us for one more week.

It was really hard to go in there and feel as if I was begging them to watch my child.  It’s all I can do not to go up there right this minute and pick her up, fearing that somehow they’re making her feel “less” than she should be.  But Stella is nothing if not tough.  I think she’s probably the happiest one in our household right now, since Felix is teething and just sits around and moans, growls, and moans-growls like a bear or Chewbacca right now.

Don't let that happy little face fool you.  He has discovered a sound even more diabolical than whining.  And he does it FOR HOURS ON END.

Don’t let that happy little face fool you. He has discovered a sound even more diabolical than whining. And he does it FOR HOURS ON END.

I feel as if I’m becoming one of those people that I hate to be around – someone whose life is nothing but drama.  I also have to concede it may be a matter of perception.  Regardless, I’m feeling pretty worn down at present.

I’m tired of this school stuff, and we can’t help but not feel really welcome there.  We also worry that perhaps they’re throwing us out.  Just very slowly.  Regardless, I’ve started to put my angst to use.  We’re going to try to tour another school tomorrow, and I have some others in mind to reach out to as well.  I think we need a Plan B.

I know lots of folks have these kinds of issues.  I think I would feel better and more capable of handling this if it weren’t for the snowball effect from everything else: fighting with Will, dealing with a young baby/up nursing at night/on no sleep, Will hating his job, money issues, and no time for Will or myself to get away both apart and together to recharge as adults.  Some of this will simply pass.  The kids will age and mature, and that will allow Will and I more time for ourselves.  Other problems will hang around for a while or have already taken up permanent residence – the financial and professional angst.

It is moments like these where maybe I’m being unreasonable.  Maybe I’m channeling my inner Clark W. Griswold, Jr. (Yeah, huge Xmas Vacation fan).  He would build up events and scenes of family life into things that no event can ever live up to.  Then I realize that I’m not trying to plan a 2 week visit to Wally World.  I just want to send my kid to school and have a happy home where everyone is healthy and fulfilled.  It shouldn’t be this damn complicated.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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