I’ve confessed before that one of my guilty pleasures is watching Honey Boo Boo. I could honestly care less about HBB, but am endlessly fascinated by the dynamics involving the rest of the family. It’s so disgusting that it’s thrilling in that weird voyeuristic way. I had no clue who HBB was prior to her show. I was later told that she had been on that Toddlers and Tiaras program and was such a crowd-pleaser that she was offered her own spot. Probably good, since I don’t think she’s likely to be competitive in pageants anymore. That poor little girl might weigh as much as I do at this point.
I had tried to watch Toddlers and Tiaras before but could not. While that show is equally or even more trashy than HBB, there is that creepy edge of seriously disturbed parenting, unacceptable and unaccountable bratty behavior, and the potential of pedophile fodder involved that makes me seriously ill. HBB is kind of goofy and fun. T&T seems dangerous. Maybe it’s just me.
Anyway, Stella has really started harnessing her inner sparkly girl lately. Fortunately for me, it’s not all princess stuff. It’s shoes, dinosaur Tshirts, hats, gloves, rain boots, swimsuits, scarves, and yes, the occasional dress. We have knock-down drag-outs over swimsuits and shoes. This past weekend there was some certain pair of shoes she wanted that we simply could not find or identify. She got hysterical several times over. Only a swimsuit would make her feel better, but swimsuits are not always appropriate apparel.
It’s funny to me as her mother watching this rambunctious kid who loves nothing more than to play in muddy puddles while singing get her sparkle on, particularly when it’s all combined into one messy and glitter-spackled package. If only these pageant circuits would celebrate real girls, I might actually enter my daughter. An ideal pageant for Stella would go something like this:
1st Event: Playwear and shoes (beauty)
2nd Event: Swimsuit and shoes (beauty)
3rd Event: Noodles, broccoli, and cupcake eating contest in swimsuit (beauty/talent)
4th Event: Art – preferably with markers (talent)
5th Event: Swimsuit and hat (beauty)
6th Event: Shoes (beauty)
7th Event: Impressions and ninja skills (talent)
8th Event: Cat wrangling in hats (talent and beauty)
9th Event: Turkey dog and chocolate milk consumption contest (talent)
10th Event: Freestyle
The prize for winners would not be tiaras. It would be gift cards to Chuck E. Cheese, Cupcake Palace, and Crayola.com such that these real little girls could continue to develop along a normal trajectory.
Sorry for the photo bomb, y’all. I’m always amazed at how much personality this little girl has working every single day. I know I’m her mother, but geeeeez!
P.S. My title is this Cajun spelling that folks around here like to use for everything…. Go = Geaux, Show = Sheaux, etc….