Best In Sheaux

I’ve confessed before that one of my guilty pleasures is watching Honey Boo Boo.  I could honestly care less about HBB, but am endlessly fascinated by the dynamics involving the rest of the family.  It’s so disgusting that it’s thrilling in that weird voyeuristic way.  I had no clue who HBB was prior to her show.  I was later told that she had been on that Toddlers and Tiaras program and was such a crowd-pleaser that she was offered her own spot.  Probably good, since I don’t think she’s likely to be competitive in pageants anymore.  That poor little girl might weigh as much as I do at this point.

I had tried to watch Toddlers and Tiaras before but could not.  While that show is equally or even more trashy than HBB, there is that creepy edge of seriously disturbed parenting, unacceptable and unaccountable bratty behavior,  and the potential of pedophile fodder involved that makes me seriously ill.  HBB is kind of goofy and fun.  T&T seems dangerous.  Maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, Stella has really started harnessing her inner sparkly girl lately.  Fortunately for me, it’s not all princess stuff.  It’s shoes, dinosaur Tshirts, hats, gloves, rain boots, swimsuits, scarves, and yes, the occasional dress.  We have knock-down drag-outs over swimsuits and shoes.  This past weekend there was some certain pair of shoes she wanted that we simply could not find or identify.  She got hysterical several times over.  Only a swimsuit would make her feel better, but swimsuits are not always appropriate apparel.

It’s funny to me as her mother watching this rambunctious kid who loves nothing more than to play in muddy puddles while singing get her sparkle on, particularly when it’s all combined into one messy and glitter-spackled package.  If only these pageant circuits would celebrate real girls, I might actually enter my daughter.  An ideal pageant for Stella would go something like this:

1st Event:  Playwear and shoes (beauty)

Anyone's shoes are fair game.

Anyone’s shoes are fair game.

 

Boots are good, especially with other flattering accessories.

Boots are good, especially with other flattering accessories.

2nd Event: Swimsuit and shoes (beauty)

The diaper is swimsuit-esque.

The diaper is swimsuit-esque.

3rd Event: Noodles, broccoli, and cupcake eating contest in swimsuit (beauty/talent)

Cupcake eating is serious business.

Cupcake eating is serious business.

 

You really have to get into the zone.

You really have to get into the zone.

4th Event: Art – preferably with markers (talent)

5th Event: Swimsuit and hat (beauty)

Her hat had just fallen off in this pic.

Her hat had just fallen off in this pic.

 

Here the hat would simply mess up the pigtails.

Here the hat would simply mess up the pigtails.

 

6th Event: Shoes (beauty)

Who cares about shoes when you have these glasses?

Who cares about shoes when you have these glasses?

 

Hello?  Do you SEE the glasses?

Hello? Do you SEE the glasses?

7th Event: Impressions and ninja skills (talent)

Perhaps hippo impressions?

Perhaps hippo impressions?

 

Industrial accident victim jujitsu?

Industrial accident victim jujitsu?

8th Event: Cat wrangling in hats (talent and beauty)

And when the cats are too fast, a kitty hat (with shoes) will do.

And when the cats are too fast, a kitty hat (with shoes) will do.

9th Event: Turkey dog and chocolate milk consumption contest (talent)

10th Event:  Freestyle

Planking?

Planking?

 

Or perhaps something more normal, like piano (in the buff, of course).

Or perhaps something more normal, like piano (in the buff, of course).

 

Um....Groucho reindeer?

Um….Groucho reindeer?

The prize for winners would not be tiaras.  It would be gift cards to Chuck E. Cheese, Cupcake Palace, and Crayola.com such that these real little girls could continue to develop along a normal trajectory.

Now get outta my way.  I got a hot date with my daddy at Chuck E. Cheese.

Now get outta my way. I got a hot date with my daddy at Chuck E. Cheese.

Sorry for the photo bomb, y’all.  I’m always amazed at how much personality this little girl has working every single day.  I know I’m her mother, but geeeeez!

 

P.S.  My title is this Cajun spelling that folks around here like to use for everything…. Go =  Geaux,  Show = Sheaux, etc….

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Best In Sheaux

  1. Meg C. DeBoe says:

    Awesome! I’d enter my girl in that pageant! 😉

  2. Amber Perea says:

    This is toooooo cute! She is such an adorable little ham! I can barely get a picture anymore without Jp demanding the phone the moment I pick it

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