Cry Me To the Moon

So far I have to admit this vacation has been a mixed bag. The traveling itself was nightmarish. Both kids took turns screaming, and if you can believe it, only slept about five minutes between them during the entire drive. By the time we arrived, everyone’s nerves were absolutely shot. Will and I were fighting. It’s safe to say we were all in hell.
I honestly figured that by the time we got in and unpacked, things would rapidly turn around and we would all have a great time. It hasn’t quite worked out that way.
This part is really difficult for me to talk about.
Stella’s behavior the first 48 hours was absolutely abominable. I have to admit that she acted like a kid who was autistic. There was lots of screaming and shouting. There was lots of her “canned speech.” There was lots of random running around without purpose. There was very little eye contact. Things were so bad that Will and I began to discuss whether or not we should just turn around and go home. All of the things we wanted to do -the sand castles, the swimming, the trips out to get ice cream cones – suddenly seemed impossible.
Sure, we were messing up her routine – the same routine we had worked so hard to establish. I think that really confused her. She also ate nothing but junk food the first 24 hours. The first day alone, she had three pieces of cake. In an effort to salvage something of this vacation, I imposed a junkfood moratorium. I kept a food log so that we would all be mindful that she was eating/drinking enough/well. That second day she ate good. She slept better. And by yesterday, was more like the usual Stella.
Things still are not “normal.” This trip has shaken my confidence somewhat, and definitely shown me that I need to adjust my expectations at least for the foreseeable future. There are still things that I would love to take her to go do while we’re here at the beach, but now isn’t the time. I was reminded today that as soon as you let you guard down, all hell can break loose. An innocent outing to look at souvenirs and grab a few things at the store degenerated into several hours of intense screaming unlike we ever experience at home. And this isn’t normal screaming. It’s “oh shit they’re going to kick us out of the condo” screaming. It has has been rough. She has spent more time in time out than swimming.
Ultimately I just don’t know. I was so excited to get here. I had been telling anyone who would listen how well Stella was doing- how awesome school was, how her communication was improving. She has certainly made a big fat liar out of me these past several days.
I’d like to think that one day this will be funny. The trip where the 3 year old held 3 adults hostage with her horrific behavior. Now I’m just tired and somewhat disappointed. I’m also scared- that we’ll never be able to travel like “normal” families or take vacations involving air travel or travel requiring more than a handful of hours in a car.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Cry Me To the Moon

  1. misty says:

    you know… after the past couple of years experimenting with nutrition and diet…. i have come to the horrific conclusion that it does really matter. i have found out as an adult that sugar and starches that turn into sugar significantly alter a persons well being mood wise and physically. I am sure that altering her schedule definitely had an impact as with all young children, but diet and nutrition does seem to go a long way….. hope this helps. LYMI!

    • larva225 says:

      We have definitely noticed a correlation between her negative behavior and when she gets too hungry. We have stopped short from implementing a full-blown food log, but anecdotally I recognize she does better with good nutrition-proteins fruits and veg.

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