Every year. Every year, damn it.
My stupid cats ruined my beautiful Xmas long ago. Once upon a time, I had one sweet cat. She left my shit alone. She might bat one ornament off of my traditionally huge tree, but that was it. That cat never broke a single ornament. Then I got the 3 Stupid Cats.
The Xmas Jihad started immediately. I knew better than to put my good breakable stuff up, and bit the bullet by putting up cheap plastic stuff. The first day they knocked the tree over. It’s only gotten worse from there. One year, I had my mother spend all day Thanksgiving in my Martha Stewart-styled sweatshop by cutting out these painfully intricate 3-D paper ornaments. They became confetti within hours. I haven’t been able to pull out all of my really nice stuff in years.
To add to it, my emotional pee-er started pissing on the tree skirt annually about 3 years ago. I don’t know why I bother to put it out, frankly. I guess the white metal claw feet of my tree are just so starkly ugly.
The bastard got it today. I was starting to think it’d be spared, but no. Merry Xmas, M*&#er F*&^er. Someone might be getting a nice pair of soft black furry slippers this year.