All Is Calm, All Is Blight?

I think it must be impossible to pass through the holiday season emotionally unscathed.  If you know someone who stays 100% happy, excited, and serene, let me know who that is.  I demand an in-depth interview and want to know all of their secrets.  For the rest of us, the pressure is pretty intense.  People get pissed off about shopping.  People get pissed off about the traffic surrounding the shopping, ensuring that “normal” errands become that much more difficult to navigate.  People get panicked about money.  People feel pressured to send cards, to connect.  People feel lonely, missing those that aren’t around for whatever reason. People want to experience as much as possible.

That last one is my biggest one, although I must agree the others strike occasionally.

I’ve been focusing a whole lot on what we haven’t been able to do or the places we haven’t been able to go: the zoo, riding around at night to see lights, parades, other random local holiday happenings.  The thing is, I AM MAKING MYSELF CRAZY.  My kids are fine.  They’re having a ball.  They’re enjoying the Xmas tree in the house.  Felix has enjoyed noshing on wrapping paper he manages to snag when I’m trying to wrap presents.  Stella is “fancy” in her different Xmas dresses, dreaming about the Cinderella doll she thinks Santa might bring (don’t ask me WTF that’s about.  That one is kind of out of left field.).  Even the cats are festive, chewing the ribbons off the packages and then giving them back as these sparkling bundles of cat puke filled with ribbon concretions.

Felix has his 2 front teeth.  6 of them, actually.

Felix has his 2 front teeth. 6 of them, actually.


Fancy Xmas dress #2.

Fancy Xmas dress #2.

It’s not me so much that wants to go to the parade.  I hate crowds.  And while I enjoy looking at Xmas lights and decorations, I hate driving around at night.  The old lady in me comes out, I suppose.  I guess I just want to see my kids see this stuff.

Is every gift I got going to be “perfect” and appreciated?  Probably not.  Will my kids even remember what Santa brings this Xmas morning?  Probably not.  Will my holiday table be full of gourmet fare, worthy of HGTV or Food Network?  Absolutely not. Does that mean that it’s not going to be a good, memorable Xmas?  Probably not.  Definitely not.

I have the power.....

I have the power…..


The power of wreath!

The power of wreath!

So it’s time to check my holiday vision and put new lenses in my holiday goggles.  Xmas morning will be a blast, one way or another.  We will bake Xmas cookies on Xmas eve day.  They will be splendidly ugly.  Maybe even uglier than last year.  Now THAT is a worthy aspiration.

My kids will feel loved and hopefully begin to knit their own holiday memories – the primordial ooze of their own future Xmas nostalgia.  I guess at the end of the season, that’s what it’s all about for me.

About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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4 Responses to All Is Calm, All Is Blight?

  1. T. D. Davis says:

    “the primordial ooze of their own future Xmas nostalgia” is THE reason we suffer through Christmas madness. Have a happy one!

  2. alvasalmanac says:

    Something my mom always did with us was drive around the neighborhoods of insane Christmas people and look at lights. It was easy for her (now I know that, retrospectively,) and we love love loved it. I still love it. I do it with my kids.

    It’s hard not to hate the holidays, for sure. This time of the year comes prepackaged in idyllic milieu and it’s not fair to expect ourselves to fit into something so two dimensional and plastene.

    I like reading your thoughts, and knowing I’m not alone in my ruminating. Your Christmas will be rad. I’ll cheers a toddy for you.

    • larva225 says:

      So well said!!! And yes, once my kids are a bit older, I do plan on some of those illuminated wacko driving tours. I remember those from my childhood as well; it always felt like forced and cheesy togetherness at the time, but now I think of it fondly.
      I’m raising a glass of red in your direction now (whatever that might be). Best of times to you and yours.

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