I know that little kids can be exasperating. Just as we made it through the “terrible twos,” we were told that “threes were worse.” Of course things haven’t gone totally according to plan around our house with Stella. We have our really good days and we have our really bad days. Notice I use “really” a lot. Everything with my daughter seems exponential, the good, the bad, and the silly.
One thing about her in particular gets to me: a constant stream of demands emanates from her mouth. Yeah, yeah. I know that for the longest time I begged the powers that be to let her speak. And as everyone predicted, she now never stops speaking. There is a never-ending list of requirements that she needs NOW. It comes at such a fast rate and in such a squeaky (and cute, damn it) little voice that it’s almost like the droning of the world’s loudest mosquito.
A typical 2-3 minute interval sounds like this:
“Get my necklace. Get other necklace. Want Hello Kitty outfit. Sparkly shoes! I have sparkly shoes. Stinky chips? Do we have stinky chips? Read to me. Ham! I want ham, pwease. Read Black Rabbit. Pick me up. PICK ME UP!!! Cinderella? That’s a mean kitty. That’s a mean kitty. That’s a mean kitty. THAT’S A MEAN KITTY (Note: the volume goes up here as, although she’s not demanding a particular item or action at this point, audience participation is required.). Turn it off! Turn it off! Want summer dress? Want summer dress! I’m a beautiful mermaid. Want to be a beautiful mermaid (Note2: One of our mothers – and I can’t remember if it’s Crispi or Oui Oui – decided that wrapping her up tight in a towel after bath was “being a mermaid.” Now, we have to try to wrap her up in a towel on a regular basis. By regular basis I mean 6-10 times a day. And you know as well as I do that towels don’t stay up. You can imagine the cacophony when the towel inevitably falls. So thanks for that.). Beautiful mermaid. Make a mermaid. Stinky chips? Green fruit snacks? Make a mermaid. Read to me. Read Knuffle Bunny. Want Tag Pen. Want to ride my bike. Go outside. Jump on trampoween. I’m a frog. Jumping up and down. Jumping on trampoween. Ribbet. Peppa Pig. I want to watch Peppa Pig. Make a mermaid. Yes, ma’am (Note 3: she’s learning manners and that by occasionally using some, she might be more likely to get her way. Manners include “yes ma’am,” regardless of gender, and saying “pwease” a lot.). Want to watch Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins. Mermaid. Mermaid poppins.”
Mermaid Poppins, indeed. It all just runs together.
Surely this isn’t normal? If it is, does it ever STOP?