Cats All, Folks

I know I’ve written before about the Three Stupid Cats. I’ve always loved cats. I always vowed that I would always have cats.  I was a Cat Person.  But I think the formula of three cats on top of two children has resulted in some sort of alchemy within my brain. I no longer feel all warm and fuzzy about felines, no pun intended.

I’ve stated lots of times that one is an emotional pee-er.  Just this past weekend, he got yet another pair of my flip flops.  The bastard has a vendetta against my flip flops.  Every Xmas morning, we have to be very vigilant about where we place certain things that Santa brings lest they get hosed.  I still refuse to put my purse down on any flat surface in this house.  This same furry nut likes to howl randomly around 4 o’clock in the morning. It’s not normal howling. It sounds like something you would hear in a mental hospital.  I don’t know why he does it. But he does it. Every morning.

And the vomiting-oh the vomiting.  A few nights ago as I nearly had Felix back to sleep after nursing, the manx decided he wanted to puke.   I know they can’t help it, that it’s beyond their control.  After all, who likes to puke?  But when cats make that noise  it sets my teeth on edge. What’s worse is that they refuse to puke all at once in one pile in one place.  No, they like to spread it throughout the house.  I don’t mind some much when they do it in the vomitorium. I know it’s gross, but I really just sort of ignore the floor in that room.  It’s become like a litter box for cat puke.  Fortunately, they often clean some of it up themselves.

This pile of poo is  much cooler than anything the Three Stupid Cats produce.

This pile of poo is much cooler than anything the Three Stupid Cats produce.  I thought about putting an actual picture of their puke here for emphasis, but figured that would be gratuitous.

I started to think that maybe feeding them might be part of the problem. I feed them every day of course, but maybe that’s only adding fuel to the fire.  Feeding them every single morning may be the equivalent of dropping off a case of Glocks in the middle of downtown Compton.  I’m merely arming the criminals.

Now before you get all Peta on me, I am only kidding.  I would have way too much guilt if I let something bad happen to them. But I have to admit that I do not enjoy them at all right now.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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5 Responses to Cats All, Folks

  1. I completely agree! I’ve taken to calling my 12 year old cat “legacy” because she’s here as part of the old system. I have no tolerance for the vomit and poop on the carpet anymore.

  2. Eli Pacheco says:

    Stupid Cats – that’s redundant. One great joy of my four cats is that one used to eat her siblings’ vomit. SO convenient – I’m sad her palette has since evolved.

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