Little Piss Sunshine

I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a work husband.  We have an interesting and always-shifting relationship (platonic, of course) in which he alternates between behaving like an older uncle-type figure and a silly little brother.  He’s a life-long bachelor with no kids.  He lives to exercise, drink beer, and watch football.  He’s a riot.  On 2 major occasions he was a total savior to me by doing all of my site inspections when I was out on maternity leave (and tagging along occasionally on long rides when I was about-to-pop pregnant, “just in case”).  He makes me laugh and I help him with spelling and his Xmas shopping each year.

He and I live vicariously through each other to the extent that he has no interest in being married with kids and I could care less about football and beer.  Still, he gets to hear about my kids and their/our adventures and I get to hear about his dates and debaucheries.  It’s a working system.

I completely disgusted him the other day.  It was great.  He had it coming.  He tries to make me smell his revolting shoes all the time.

I was mentioning –over lunch, no less – that Felix had peed on me in the night and that I had had to make the ultimate decision to just stay covered with pee until the morning.  He was revolted.  As a bachelor, he doesn’t realize the ramifications of middle-of-the-night diaper and outfit changes resulting in at least one crying kid, fumbling in the dark for clothing, and the great probability that the pee-er won’t go back to sleep.  If you just accept the pee into your life for a few more hours (You’re already wet, right?), you can simply roll over with the kid, stick a boob in his mouth, and both of you can resume slumber.

It’s gross, but it’s survival.

I would never ever be that cavalier about poo.

At the very least, I’m helping my work husband remember to use birth control.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting, work and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Little Piss Sunshine

  1. boringyear says:

    This is why I love boobs.

    • larva225 says:

      Exactly! And to think, I was too chicken to use the “side-lying nursing method” (a.k.a. “lazy bitch method”) with my first child. I can only imagine the extra sleep I would have had.

  2. boringyear says:

    Lazy bitch method all the way. If only Monkey had been willing to sleep with a wet nappy on I would have been happy to sleep covered in pee.

    Wait, that sounds wrong…

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