Little Piss Sunshine

I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a work husband.  We have an interesting and always-shifting relationship (platonic, of course) in which he alternates between behaving like an older uncle-type figure and a silly little brother.  He’s a life-long bachelor with no kids.  He lives to exercise, drink beer, and watch football.  He’s a riot.  On 2 major occasions he was a total savior to me by doing all of my site inspections when I was out on maternity leave (and tagging along occasionally on long rides when I was about-to-pop pregnant, “just in case”).  He makes me laugh and I help him with spelling and his Xmas shopping each year.

He and I live vicariously through each other to the extent that he has no interest in being married with kids and I could care less about football and beer.  Still, he gets to hear about my kids and their/our adventures and I get to hear about his dates and debaucheries.  It’s a working system.

I completely disgusted him the other day.  It was great.  He had it coming.  He tries to make me smell his revolting shoes all the time.

I was mentioning –over lunch, no less – that Felix had peed on me in the night and that I had had to make the ultimate decision to just stay covered with pee until the morning.  He was revolted.  As a bachelor, he doesn’t realize the ramifications of middle-of-the-night diaper and outfit changes resulting in at least one crying kid, fumbling in the dark for clothing, and the great probability that the pee-er won’t go back to sleep.  If you just accept the pee into your life for a few more hours (You’re already wet, right?), you can simply roll over with the kid, stick a boob in his mouth, and both of you can resume slumber.

It’s gross, but it’s survival.

I would never ever be that cavalier about poo.

At the very least, I’m helping my work husband remember to use birth control.

About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting, work and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Little Piss Sunshine

  1. boringyear says:

    This is why I love boobs.

    • larva225 says:

      Exactly! And to think, I was too chicken to use the “side-lying nursing method” (a.k.a. “lazy bitch method”) with my first child. I can only imagine the extra sleep I would have had.

  2. boringyear says:

    Lazy bitch method all the way. If only Monkey had been willing to sleep with a wet nappy on I would have been happy to sleep covered in pee.

    Wait, that sounds wrong…

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