I need to rant a while. Sorry. Just a warning.
We’ve all heard the saying “so and so needs to get off my dick,” implying that someone is crowding the speaker in some capacity or another, whether that be tailgating in traffic, meddling in their personal affairs, or otherwise being a nuisance. I have a new take on this: people need to get off my tits.
What’s that, you say? Am I just being a bit of a “femi-nazi,” wanting a female version of the above statement just for us gals? No. I literally mean I want people to cease and desist being so damn interested in my boobs and their production. I seem to get it every day, whether it be at home (Will: Haven’t you weaned him yet?) or work. Work is the worst:
How old is your baby now?
You’re STILL nursing?
When do you plan to wrap it up?
None of your damn beeswax, Nosey McNoserson.
Nursing at work this time around has been beyond obnoxious. I’ve been a nomad. It started off well and good with the lactation room. Once I got crowded out of that, it’s been a matter of office-hopping or running out to the car to try to cover myself in the front seat and use the car charger. And yes, I’ve spent more than a few milking sessions in the work car either being driven down the road by someone with a blanket over me, pulled over in some parking lot hoping I don’t get molested by some random person who wants to talk about their neighbor who has trash in their yard (or reported for being a lay-about state worker), or driving while pumping.
But it’s for my kid. So I do it.
And yes. My son is 1 now, and it IS time to start the weaning process. However, how he and I accomplish this is up to us. NOT the people of the State of Louisiana, even if those people are friends, colleagues, husbands. Like most physicians, I think weaning should happen when he and I are ready and it should be slow and gradual. It just happened that way with Stella, naturally. I didn’t feel the pressure I feel this time around. I’m not sure why it’s different.
I know in some cases I’ve had to interrupt other people to ask to use an office for my purposes. I’ve bent over backwards to be as unobtrusive as possible. I don’t think I’ve given anyone cause to be truly angry or even irritated with me for it. And if so? It’s not my problem. If anything, it ought to be a message to the Powers That Be that a single dedicated lactation room is quite insufficient for 8-10 mothers. This is a good thing. How could a mother breastfeeding her children be a bad thing? It’s healthy. It’s natural. It’s FREE. Sure, I think all of us who nurse would rather actually hold and feed our children vs hooking ourselves up to pumps. But their little bellies don’t check out for 8-9 hours while we’re at the office, so there you go.
I’ve written way too many times already about how I feel about nursing. I’ll stop here. But I am so tired of it being other people’s business as to when and how I wean my son.
Maybe I’m just being prickly about it because Felix is my last baby. Maybe I’m just pissed off at my workplace in general (Side note: work lately has become a nightmare rather than a refuge. I’d rather be home. I’m disillusioned, stressed, and frantic. This is a pretty serious blow to my psyche considering the office was where I got to decompress, blog, think, and just be an individual 3 days a week.). Either way, folks need to get off my tits. I’ll wean my son when I’m good and ready and not before.
Sorry for the venom and bile.
Carry on with your day.