Slippery When Weather

To some degree, most of us crave at least a little excitement.  That’s why people spend big bucks and risk their lives to climb Everest, race cars, skydive. It’s why we ride roller coasters. Horror and suspense movies and books are big business.  While our lives are safer than they’ve ever been in human history, that adrenaline rush is fun.  We now have seat belts, antibacterial soap, police, hard hats, doctors.  We no longer have to be on high alert – adrenaline pumping – for that bear or tiger waiting in the wings to eat us up.  (I know there’s been a killer tiger in India.  I don’t mean to downplay the seriousness of that.  But let’s face it:  globally, that’s an exception these days as far as wildlife goes.) For most of us dwelling in the modernized world, our adrenal system only gets a workout if we think we’ve dropped our cell phones or forgot to set the DVR to record Game of Thrones or Ink Master.

But like our appendix, our adrenal system is still there in our bodies.  It wants to work, man.  It needs it.

So what to do if you want to feel that heart-thumping, rapid-breathing sensation without subjecting yourself or your wallet to true danger?  Read the weather.com’s headlines, apparently.  It’s ridiculous.  Like so much in the “news and information” bracket, these people have gone from providing useful information – particularly in potentially dangerous or precarious conditions – to being outright outlandish.  Just today I see:

  • Teen Jumps In Drain After Cell Phone
  • America’s Fattest City Is…
  • When the Snow Melts,  They Find Them Buried, Dead in the Snow
  • Do These Bison Predict a Yellowstone Eruption?
  • Meet the Awesome Half-Dog
  • Rare Lassa Virus Strikes Minnesota man
  • Under the Ice; I Thought My Life Was Over

More than once I’ve had to do the rapid “X” out of the website due to some horrific picture of a mutilated animal they’re picturing for some reason.  And this past winter, they started naming storms.  Why should the summer have all the delicious weather danger with its hurricanes and tropical storms?  I want my next blizzard to be named “Snowy Death,” please.  Or maybe “Thor.”

Since when did the Weather Channel’s website become affiliated with the damn National Enquirer?  Why can’t weather just be weather?

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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