Don’t Pain On My Parade

I’ve debated now for almost a week as to whether not I should write about any of this. It’s about Mother’s Day. And yes, I know Mother’s Day was only a few days ago but bear with me…
Will didn’t do anything at all special for me. He didn’t even help Stella make a card. But let me make one thing clear: this is not a Will-bashing blog.
Ever since I’ve known him, I have known that he does not reckon time the way the rest of us do. For that reason and that reason alone, holidays are difficult for him. And I suppose in classic men versus women fashion, in my mind, when I’m helping Stella make cards for all of the moms and grandmothers in our lives, that should be a pretty strong hint or inspiration for my husband to follow suit in his own way.
But I guess he’s not into arts and crafts. That’s okay. Not everyone is.
In any case, based on observations of his movements and behavior, I was certain that Mother’s Day for myself was largely going to go unnoticed (or at least unnoticed by the one person who at this point in time due to age alone in my household should notice it more than anyone). So I must admit, on Mother’s Day, I woke up pretty sad.
For the record, I don’t want nor expect a whole lot. Honestly, my perfect Mother’s Day would be not having to cook breakfast- I don’t even want breakfast in bed- and a macaroni necklace. Seriously. That sounds perfect. And maybe sleeping in until 6 AM.
Anyway, things didn’t work out that way. We did go over to Oui Oui’s house, where they grilled out for all of us. That part was very nice. I was and am very grateful for that.
I guess the reason I’m finally talking about this is that I’m still having a hard time shaking this. Part of it is due to conversations with others; while it’s perfectly reasonable that someone would ask me “how was your Mother’s Day,” I just don’t have a happy answer for that question. And Facebook? I couldn’t really log on for the 24 hours before or after Mother’s Day. While I felt like a ridiculous high schooler, it stung to see the lovely days that other mommies were having when my kids are too young to understand and my husband was unable to even make a card.
So why is this so different for me? Historically, I’ve always been the first one to bitch about “contrived” holidays. As a rule, I hate any unnecessary attention. I’ve never even been able to take compliments very well. Being fussed over on Mother’s Day ought to be something that I would absolutely loathe. And logically I know: I am not Will’s mom. He does not “owe” it to me to buy me a gift or make me a card. Once my children are old enough to forget on their own, then and only then do I have a real reason to be hurt.
I guess what it boils down to is this: I am more proud of my job as a mother than I’ve ever been proud of anything. This is one area of my life for which I will absolutely take a compliment. I also know that I don’t do anything more or less amazing than any other mother out there. Except I do believe my children probably get up a little bit earlier than most of their’s. I’m just saying…
So this is it. I’m releasing my hurt and my disappointment out into the blogosphere, and I’m moving on. I’m tired of feeling depressed about it. I do think however, that next year I will recognize myself. Now before you start eye-rolling at me for being selfish, I’m not talking about anything major. Maybe I’ll buy a cheap bottle of champagne and toast myself that evening, or better yet, I’ll make myself some mimosas for breakfast. Because most days I do a damn good job. And you know what? I don’t need anyone else to tell me that.
Thanks for listening.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Don’t Pain On My Parade

  1. milamama says:

    I had a similar mother’s day. Did you tell your hubby that you were hurt by the lack of acknowledgement?

    • larva225 says:

      I did. His response was that now he felt bad, too. The implication I got was that since I felt bad first, I should have sucked it up so that he did not also feel bad. That’s why I say, next year it’s champagne on the house. You in?

      • milamama says:

        So in! And maybe pedicures? 🙂

        I just try to remember all the ways my hubs shows love on non-mother’s-days. And buy myself flowers…

  2. boringyear says:

    Mine was much the same. Including the early start. Are those other women liars or significantly better at nagging than we are? Because I’m pretty sure most men just don’t get it.

  3. boringyear says:

    Mine was much the same. Including the early start. And with the added bonus of being responsible for organizing something for Hubby’s mother too. Are those other women liars or significantly better at nagging than we are? Because I’m pretty sure most men just don’t get it.

  4. I worked my 8 hour shift that day, and they asked me to stay an extra hour but I said in my mind, “Hell no.” and left. I went home and Lilah was being unruly. Cameron cooked me an amazing dinner, though. I insisted because I made the mistake of going on Facebook and saw a picture of my cousin and Aunt (who live in the same town), going out and doing something nice together. I felt left out. Damn you Facebook and your FOMO!

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