The Fatted Laugh

I posted a blog a while back, Sock Itch, in which I discussed life with the legendary “threenager.”  If you missed it, it’s basically when you’re confronted with a cute-as-a-button preschooler who is acting like such a butthead you cannot help but dread their teenage years 10 years ahead of time.  I’ve got a whole truckload of threenager going at my house on any given day lately.

Don’t get me wrong.  My daughter is amazing.  She’s so freaking smart (and you should hear this girl read…it’s mind-boggling) and pretty and funny.  But she can be such a jerk-face.  You can never tell what will precipitate a flip-out or butt-showing.  It could be the wrong pair of big girl panties.  It could be apples vs pears.  It could be that her shoes are NOT on the wrong foot, dagnabbit.

During our recent camping trip, Stella took a break from Marshmallow/Bruce/Ursula behavior.

During our recent camping trip, Stella took a break from Marshmallow/Bruce/Ursula behavior.

Then went back and tried to choke her brother (just kidding....she was really just hugging him....hard)

Then went back and tried to choke her brother (just kidding….she was really just hugging him….hard)

I’ve threatened to confiscate all sparkly mermaid clothing and replace it with magistrate’s robes and powdered wigs.  This kid is downright argumentative.  You can’t argue with her, however.  What she lacks in logic she makes up for in volume.  When that volume goes up, I’ve found that threatening with time outs and the like is futile.  I now call her Marshmallow (from Frozen), Bruce (from Finding Nemo), or Ursula (from the Little Mermaid).  Any of those is odious to her, as these 3 characters are our current standard for jerk-face behavior.  She gets incensed.  Best of all is when she yells back “I AM NOT ACTING LIKE MARSHMALLOW/BRUCE/URSULA.”  At that moment, I can’t help but laugh.  Then she gets REALLY angry.  It’s great.

Trying on robes for size

Trying on robes for size

Finally, her latest schtick is to call Will Will and me Laura.  I rarely get called mommy anymore.  I don’t know when/how this started.  I thought jerk-face children at least waited until their teens before they started with this kind of thing?

At least my little bitty dude is still super stinking sweet.  I can't stand it.

At least my little bitty dude is still super stinking sweet. I can’t stand it.

 

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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2 Responses to The Fatted Laugh

  1. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, so I find it difficult to relate to that kind of loss, but I definitely feel for you.

    It sounds like Stella and Lilah have very similar temperaments. Calling it the “threenager” year is perfect. I have a very short fuse and get stressed out easily, so that I even have patience to deal with her is amazing. I think the whole motherly love thing helps… you know, chemicals and hormones.

    One of the things she started saying more is, “I love you forever, Mommy!” or “I love you always!” and it’s super freaking adorable!

    • larva225 says:

      That’s great!! I often feel that their capacity to be annoying is second only to their capacity to be adorable. It’s a good thing, too….

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