Smeeeeear’s Johnny!

What’s that old saying about girls being made of sugar and spice and everything nice?  I call shenanigans on that.  Don’t get me wrong: my little girl is beautiful. She has gorgeous big blue eyes and golden hair.  But she indulges in behavior that you could find in any frat house on a Saturday night.

She eats the craziest shit.  On Saturday she decided she wanted to cuddle with her daddy.  As she settled down next to him, tucking them both in with about 9 blankets, he got a horrified look on his face and asked if she farted.  She sweetly said no.  He didn’t buy it until I pointed out that she had summer sausage and stinky chips for breakfast.  She reeked.

And by the way, she loves to discuss that farts are gas, tee tee is liquid, and poops are solid.  You gotta know your states of matter, of course.

While we’ve largely conquered potty training, there still some finer details to work out. Wiping is an issue. By that I mean often she doesn’t.  More than once I’ve gone into her bathroom to find big girl panties full of skidmarks all over the floor. And there’s usually toilet paper strewn about as well.  It really is like a scene you’d find after a kegger minus the puke.

Once again, it’s a good thing she’s so damn cute.  If she were a dog, her stinky gross butt would be outside all the time.80 79 78 77 76


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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2 Responses to Smeeeeear’s Johnny!

  1. Lol. I have the same kid, down to the big blue eyes, golden hair, and stinky gross butt.

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