Ulysses S. Rant

I’ve been seriously disenchanted with my job lately, which is actually unusual.  Part of it is a change of culture; in the past 6 months or so, we’ve lost our next 2 rungs in the ladder making things feel a bit unsettled and rudderless.  The replacement rungs are ok.  The previous 2 rungs were great.

Beyond that, I’m actually caught up for the first time in TWO YEARS.  Seriously, for 2 years I’ve felt unable to breathe at work.  It’s been just another thing to stress and obsess over, particularly with the knowledge that I was so obsessed and stressed (and tired) from my children that I didn’t have the attention span my job really requires.

Beyond that yet again, it’s summer.  When it’s summer in Louisiana, no one wants to go out in the field.  It’s just too damn hot.  That means that we’re all here together every single day.  And with the “consolidating” They have done in the past few years, think drab gray governmental clown car.  We’re packed in here like a large rump in Spanx.

Yes, I meant to capitalize “They” above.  They are They.  You know what I mean.

And when I say hot, I mean it’s so hot that they sky isn’t even blue.  It’s what I call “too hot for color” gray.  It’s like the blue sky and whatever clouds might have been there simply atomized into this odd hazy shade of sort of gray yet still bright and blinding like a nuclear blast.

So these people are getting on my last damn nerve.

Why do people think it’s ok to clip their fingernails in their office?  And when I say office, I mean cubicle.  There’s no door for privacy (or shame) or to prevent this biological matter from leaping out into the walkways or even over the cube wall.  I have often threatened that if I see a sneeze guard for a salad bar at a thrift store, I’m installing that baby along the top of my cube.

And why it is ok for people to come to work with this disgusting snorting post-nasal drip?  I understand no one wants to use up their sick time for a minor allergy, but when does their right to come to work disgusting infringe upon my right not to be continually grossed the #*$& out?  It’s like auditory biological terrorism.  It’s the mucous equivalent to those stupid low-rider bass-mobiles that insist on “sharing” their awful music with everyone within a 5 mile radius.  I hate mucous.  Even my children’s.  It’s one of those things I just can’t get used to.  I have to deal with their snotty noses.  I don’t have to deal with a strange grown man’s.

Maybe Bose can make some snot-cancelling headphones for poor office workers.  They should also be capable of drowning out The Bitch proclaiming he’s been saved by Jesus while shouting/”being calm” to his ex wife on the phone.  They further should mitigate the racket caused by secretaries who insist on using a blasted electric letter opener from 1978 which sounds approximately like a wood chipper taking on some aluminum baseball bats.

I’ve hidden that damn thing before and they keep finding it.

And why do people all want to cram on the same damn elevator?  We happen to have 5 (mostly) working elevators in my office building.  I don’t want to feel someone’s breasts or ass pressed against my person as I ride up and down.  I want some damn space.  And no one actually talks to each other.  When we can raise our arms up high enough due to the overcrowding, we all frantically pretend to look at our phones.  And by the time you stop at every single floor (Yahtzee!), you could have caught the next 8 elevators and ridden blissfully alone.

Sorry.  I’m cantankerous.

Damn the heat, I’ve just scheduled a day out in the field next week.  At least I’ll be in a vehicle deliciously, gloriously alone.

About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting, work and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ulysses S. Rant

  1. Meg C. DeBoe says:

    You and me both, buddy. I need a change of job sooner than later. Job applications have gotten crazy though! No one wants your resume anymore; they want you to fill out their own, unique online form with all your resume info…takes forever! And then you send it into the ether and they don’t tell you if the job opening is closed, if you’re being considered, or if they hired someone else…radio silence. Sucks.

    • larva225 says:

      I’m vested where I am (retirement and such) so I gotta stick it out. Will, however, lucked out and quickly. I did have to help him with all those wretched online things. Made me feel like a dinosaur!

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