We recently went to the aquarium with the kids. I mentioned that in passing during my last post, but then diverted into a rant. Anyway, it was a wonderful outing. With the holiday weekend and all, it was largely deserted, so the kids got to look at every critter and we could really take our time. Stella loved the penguins. Usually you can barely see any of them since kids and parents are jammed up against the glass 6 deep.
Since her behavior was so exemplary, I offered to take her to the gift shop to pick out a treat. Unsurprisingly, she chose a penguin doll. Also unsurprisingly, she chose one that was ginormous. Surprisingly, this thing wasn’t that expensive so I acquiesced. Felix came home with a giant stuffed catfish, which he seems to enjoy. Anyway. The penguin has been her friend of choice since we got it. It travels through the house with her, and would likely go to school and “dahnce” if I would allow it.
As is customary, I asked her A) is the penguin a boy or girl, and B) what would she like to name it. The penguin is a girl. Duh. Her name is….. Element.
I don’t know where my kid gets this stuff. It’s kind of creepy. This is the same kid that gives dissertations on the eye, and how the pupil gets big when it’s dark and tiny when it’s bright. She will enlighten you on contrasting traits of arachnids and insects, and that crickets sing by rubbing their forewings together. She even made a sculpture at school of “a bug trapped in amber.” It’s ugly, but what kid does that?!
Anyway. Back to Element. This thing is ridiculous, particularly at night. It’s even more ridiculous if Element requires an entourage. I usually put a limit on the entourage to 3, giving a total of 4 friends. After all, her big girl bed can only hold so many friends. So Tuesday night, Element required the company of Pete the Cat, Rainbow Dash, and Sammy the Turtle. What complicates things is that when it’s dark – either before the sun comes up or after it goes down – the floor obviously becomes molten lava. This requires Stella to leap from couch to table like a mountain goat, or if she must touch the floor, she runs like the wind before launching herself at the closest piece of furniture, no matter who or what might be on it. It’s like getting slammed in the ribs by a 40 pound missile comprised of muscle and bone adorned with flying blonde hair. Unpleasant.
The lava floor also means that I have to carry Stella and friends to bed such that their feet don’t get singed. I tried to scoop up my daughter, Element the morbidly obese penguin, Pete, Rainbow Dash, and Sammy. It was ridiculous. I’d have to be Mommy Stretch Armstrong to get my arms around that load. I started getting the hysterical giggles, as it was just too damn ridiculous. This caused me to drop Sammy. That resulted in borderline drama by Stella, nearly waking up Felix and his catfish.
Obviously for future gift shop purchases, I need to implement some sort of TSA-style rules, in which whatever new friend must conform to certain size restrictions.