Eye (makeup) of the Tiger

I picked my kids up from school per usual yesterday.  As I arrived, I stopped to chat with Stella’s teacher, Ms. T, to see how things were going.  It was a pretty typical discussion – it was a good day, but Stella lost her listening ears here and there.  I’m always gratified to hear that she ignores everyone and not just me.

As I was re-collecting Felix (as soon as he hits the “big kid” playground, he’s off like a jackrabbit with his butt on fire), Ms. T asked me if Stella had gotten into anything unusual that morning.

That’s a loaded question.  “Gotten into” could mean: eaten, rolled in, somehow deposited into her clothing – specifically underwear, caught in her long mermaid hair, or anything which might have caused a lasting emotional response, such as a particularly jarring episode of Spongebob.  I assumed she meant eaten, as in “no I didn’t give her Snickers and ice cream for breakfast,” so I started to stammer that I didn’t think so.  Ms. T, sensing my confusion, said that she was referring to her face.  Seeing I was still confused, she commented on how super-sparkly it was.

Yeah.  Like this.  (from Pinterest)

Yeah. Like this. (from Pinterest)

I need the sparkles to match my elephant.  Haven't you ever seen Anna and the King?   You can't look all dowdy on the back of an elephant.

I need the sparkles to match my elephant. Haven’t you ever seen Anna and the King? You can’t look all dowdy on the back of an elephant.

Damn it.  Stella had locked herself in the bathroom again and helped herself to my eye-shadow.  I have a pot of very pale blue sparkly shadow that’s “hers,” but we save it for special occasions.  Yesterday must’ve been special and I didn’t get the bloody memo.

I'll let you look old and stupid, Mommy, while I look little and cute.

I’ll let you look old and stupid, Mommy, while I look little and cute.

So I felt like a double-ass.  One, for letting my kid run amok with my makeup.  Two, for not even noticing.

Maybe he could've benefited from some makeup after this recent shiner.  I got dirty looks in public for this one.

Maybe he could’ve benefited from some makeup after this recent shiner. I got dirty looks in public for this one.

Mom fail.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Eye (makeup) of the Tiger

  1. Meg C. DeBoe says:

    At felix’ s age and for his class picture, Buddy had a scar running from above his eyebrow to the top of his cheek. Score. It’s his Scarface photo.

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