I’m back. We have survived a mad 10 or so days. In addition to my work stuff, we’ve had my dad and stepmother in town, Stella’s first dance recital, and her “academic readiness” screening for Big School/kindergarten next year.
Speaking of….For F’s sake… It’s kindergarten, not Harvard Law School. She got in, but I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with testing and screening. It seems she barely squeaked by, her math being low but carried over by her reading. How in the hell do you go from scoring in the 98th percentile for math and >99th percentile for reading in a gifted screening but yet barely get through a magnet school entrance test? (Let it go. Let it go.)
The visit with my dad went well. They’re getting older and it’s a long trip for them to make. The kids love it, as they get to eat at restaurants for lunch and dinner and go to toy stores. Stella even got 2 visits to Joe’s Crab Shack. We’ve been on a detox diet since my folks left. Monday night, my kids would only eat fresh asparagus and cherries after 4 days of rich and fatty food.
The recital was great. Stella was front and center for every number. I was relieved to have dance over with for a while, but got very sad packing up her little tights and shoes. We’ll discuss it over the summer and see if she wants to pick it back up in the fall. She said she might want to take karate. That might be Spongebob’s influence, however.
A big moment of realization hit me yesterday. As I said, we’ve been sort of detoxing and trying to get back to normal after the big long weekend. We all needed to catch up on sleep, eat better, and just find our flow again. I was thinking about what I needed to do to get ready to go into the office for the first time in what felt like weeks. I was almost dreading it.
That’s when it hit me: work is no longer an escape. I no longer feel like I need to get away from my family to find some peace. Sure, the noise still gets to me, but we’ve turned a corner. A massive one. I now have to set the alarm on work days, as my kids might possibly sleep past 5:30. I believe our days of 4:00 AM are over and done with. I no longer have to watch every move they make, every muscle twitch. If they get quiet, it might actually not be a terrible thing. They might just be quietly coloring together. I can now let them play in the wading pool in the back while I cook dinner (checking frequently out the back window, of course). I can start letting go more. And that’s wonderful. And that sucks.