Sorry about before. I think I needed to blow off some steam filled with sadness, anger, and frustration. And while my initial instinct was to just try to take some time off from this nonsense, I can’t leave it alone. My mind picks at the problem.
So what to do when there’s nothing you can physically do? Research. Google and I are now cruising the as-of-yet uncharted territory of the “twice exceptional” student – kiddos that have some type of disability but are also gifted. This is one of those fuzzy genres in which its believed there are lots of kids out there that meet the criteria, but little in the way of formalized strategies. I suppose that’s good, given the vast number of possible combinations between these worlds. I’ve been sick of the square peg/round hole phenomenon since day 1.
From what I can gather, we need a damn IEP. That means I need to put aside my own personal revulsion at the idea of finding that magical disorder which will give us one. I may even have to figure out a way to make Stella seem “worse” than she is for the evaluation. The 504 seems to be not worth the cheap paper it’s printed on. Because my hope is that once there is some sort of proof of something being wrong with my kid that’s beyond her control – something that’s not a matter of her choosing – that maybe we can get some real help. Furthermore, maybe we can find some way for her strengths to be recognized, celebrated, exercised. All the strategies that I do find suggest that you use their gifts to overcome their challenges.
It’s still a tragedy that it’s necessary to do this – that in order to help my child I have to lay bare her soul in front of people whose professionalism I question with my waking breath every single day. But my kid is not going to fall through the cracks. I will be the proverbial pain in the ass, the squeaky wheel, the mother bear.
So my kid doesn’t like partner work. Candidly, I don’t either. She makes noise and yells? SHE’S FIVE. She won’t sit still? Probably because you’re a grumpy bitch and she’s bored. Does anyone care that during a showing of Spongebob one night last week she spontaneously initiated a conversation about air pressure? No. I thought not.
So research and plan, plot and scheme. I will chalk last week up to being really rotten and move ahead to the this one. I now have no illusions – that this will be a situation that will work itself out or be quickly sorted. This may take all year. I have to prepare for the siege.
Free Appropriate Public Education, my ass. My kid deserves better.