I’ve been AWOL from the blog I suppose. Work has been busy. On top of that, I’ve entered into that sphincter-tightening state of mind in which one realizes that the holidays are careening headlong into one’s life. I mean, Thanksgiving is under 2 weeks away. We’re going camping for that. A week later I’m hosting some ladies from Felix’s school for the annual cupcake exchange. That means I have to clean. I have to decorate. And our house is a jumbled mess because we’re finally moving Will out of his man cave so that the kids can have their own rooms. It’s chaos. It’s total chaos.
And I feel like an ass for saying that after what happened in Paris. I am an expert on changing diapers and cleaning buttered spaghetti noodles off the floor, not foreign affairs. But it sucks. It all sucks. And I’m leaving it at that.
We also have finally received our product from the cookie dough/popcorn fundraiser. All I can say is “what the fuck?” This was the second fundraiser we were encouraged to participate in. It was a prix fixe catalog, with everything being $16. Yes, you read that correctly. I was also simultaneously pimping candy for the school at my office, but we won’t mention that. Oui Oui did pretty much all of the work for this one, selling to Will’s large extended family. I hadn’t thought much more about it since. The orders were submitted almost 2 months ago, and in the meantime FIVE OTHER FUNDRAISERS HAVE OCCURRED. I’ll be honest: at this point, I put that shit straight in the trash. It’s absurd. It’s obscene.
But finally the cookie dough/popcorn arrived. Oh, and since it’s frozen, you had to make arrangements to pick it up at the school between 2:30 and 4:30, also avoiding car pool/dismissal. So not only were we responsible for selling the product, we had to take leave off of work to pick this shit up. Never. Again.
Y’all, I was so pissed off and embarrassed when I saw this stuff. The cookie dough was in a rather small box. It doesn’t look like a $16 box of dough. There was soup mix, too. Also $16. It looks like it came out of a dollar store. But it’s the popcorn that killed me. I actually ordered some, figuring I could put it in cute gift bags for Xmas. I mean, $16 worth of popcorn ought to be pretty generous – like those big ol’ tubs they sell at Walgreen’s every year at Xmas time. No. It’s the size of a family-sized bag of Cheetos. It probably cost $1.50 to make and package. I wanted to puke. I still do.Will finally took notice of it as I packed the stuff up to send to his family. He hit the roof, demanding that we return it. Of course you can’t do that. But we have learned a painful and expensive lesson. Never. Ever. Again.
So I send this message to the school and to all of you parents of future school children: This is a racket. It’s not cool. If you want to shake down families for the supposed benefit of the school, at least make sure the product is reasonable. Better yet, just ask outright for donations. I’d be happy to cut a check once to ensure I don’t have to see all of these blasted fundraising catalogs. I’m more than happy to send $2-5 when asked so my kid can have free dress on Friday. Otherwise, you’re not getting another fundraising dime out of me unless you send your catalog home with a muscled man wielding a baseball bat.