Put Your Money Where Your South Is

As we careen toward Xmas, I find myself daily making my list and checking it twice.  Have I forgotten anything?  Am I ready? I  must admit,  I find myself in pretty good damn shape.  Sweet.

That being said, it feels hard to get in that Xmas spirit.  The tree is up.  It’s beautiful.  Despite buying it early in the season, it’s still drinking about a quart of water a day.  Needle loss is minimal.  The cats have only torn up one small thing – a gift bag holding a gift card of all things.  Every night, our parade of inflatables wave cheerily at Todd and Margo’s impeccably decorated palace, illuminated by our shockingly bright midway lights.  I hope they get a sunburn.

This would be perfect if Santa was flipping a bird. And if there were more (we ran out of outlets).  And if it was brighter.

This would be perfect if Santa was flipping the bird. And if there were more (we ran out of outlets). And if it was brighter.

It’s just so damn hot.  Between that and the sinus infection I’ve been battling, I just haven’t felt like getting out and doing a whole hell of a lot.  Last year, we had double events almost every weekend day in December.  We’ve blown off about 3 already this year.  No longer.  With T minus 2 weeks and counting, it’s time to get merry, dammit.

So last night, I ordered my family home early, straight to dinner and bath, so we could saddle up and hit our local zoo for their zoo lights display (and then put the kids straight to bed, hence the early bath and dinner).  They do this every year for the entire month, and it’s always a nice low-key thing to do.  Normally we go with our dear friends but they up and moved to Georgia.  Dammit. (I hope the Grinch poops on their doorstep this year.  Not really.)

As I checked the weather app on my phone to see how I should dress my damp, freshly-bathed offspring, I noticed the *balmy* temps.  By balmy I mean mid-F’ing 70’s with 4 billion% humidity.

Do you know how un-festive it is to walk through the night in a zoo looking at gorgeous twinkling Xmas lights – some of them crafted into beautiful shapes of Santa’s sleigh with his reindeer taking flight – with beads of sweat illuminated by these same merry displays?  Will and I were both in short sleeves and pants – sweating.  Stella was in a sleeveless dress and sandals – sweating.  Felix was in shorts and a T-shirt with sandals – sweating.  Luckily I packed plenty of water.  The poor zoo’s concession stand makes a point of selling hot chocolate for this event every year.  Bad choice.

She should be in a nice coat with a woolly scarf.

She should be in a nice coat with a woolly scarf.

I wish I had a Lightning McQueen Santa wife-beater for the Dude at least.

I wish I had a Lightning McQueen Santa wife-beater for the Dude at least.

I get it.  We’re way down south.  But COME ON.  This seems worse than usual.  We’re supposed to go to the Xmas parade tomorrow night.  It’s going to be in the mid-70’s again, with matching humidity.  It’s made worse by the Weather Channel (a.k.a. the Natural Disaster Network) which never misses an opportunity to tell me what a horribly cold and wet winter we’re supposed to have (and how many people died in the last El Nino event that was this strong).

Get it together, weather.  You’re raining on my Xmas parade.

P.S. For anyone with any clothing design/sewing skill, I have a business idea for you: Down here, we need some cute Xmas pajamas for our families Xmas morning.  All these clothing companies love to show off fleece and flannel PJs for kiddos to wear under the Xmas tree as they open their gifts, maximizing the adorable for photos.  Down here if we did that, someone would call CPS.  Seriously.  We need something different.

This thing is kind of creepy in real life.

This thing is kind of creepy in real life.

Oh well.  The kids had fun, anyway.

Oh well. The kids had fun, anyway.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Put Your Money Where Your South Is

  1. Anxious Mom says:

    Ugh yes about the weather. We’ve had the temp drop a couple times so that I mistakenly thought it was time for long sleeves and jackets, but then the next day is 65-70. Ugh.

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