Bark, The Herald Angels Sing

One of my neighbors, the Desperate Housewife, acquired 3 F’ing Chihuahuas about a year ago.  Both of our yards are fenced, but unfortunately the side facing her is chain link.  She has a doggie door, so these little yapping hell nuggets are free to charge outside barking at any time – like if a gnat farts in the next town.

3 F’ing Chihuahuas.  Can you imagine the barking?

We can’t do anything in our own back yard without at least 2 of these tiny nightmares running at the fence and bitching at us in our own damn yard.  We have one of those ultrasonic birdhouse things, but it only seems to work sometimes.  I think they’re simply too damn stupid.

Accurate artist's depiction of 1 of my tormentors

Accurate artist’s depiction of 1 of my tormentors

I mention this, as one day last week I decided that since the kids had enjoyed camping so much, why not have a fun Friday night roasted hot dog dinner in the backyard?  Stella could also “mail” her Santa letter that she had written, as you know, of course, that if you put a letter in a fireplace (or fire pit in our case), the letter travels on the smoke to the North Pole where it gets magically assembled by the fat man’s postal elves.

She started strong, even agreeing to ask for some cars for Felix, but then got a wee bit distracted....

She started strong, even agreeing to ask for some cars for Felix, but then got a wee bit distracted….

It would have been such a nice experience but for 2 things: the mosquitos were brutal.  Who doesn’t love December mosquitos??  And those F’ing barking monsters.  I’d love to whittle some arrows out of holly branches, set them on fire, and shoot these little bastards.

Hot dogs roasting on an open fire....

Hot dogs roasting on an open fire….

Mosquitoes nipping at your nose...

Mosquitoes nipping at your nose…

Anyone have a bird of prey or spare boa constrictor I could borrow?

Mommy, that dog is a butthead.

Mommy, that dog is a butthead.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in House and home, life, Parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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