I’m almost done with day 3 of 4 days of Togetherness. I had – and still have- the kids solo. Will left shortly after 8 AM. It’s 7 PM now, and he’s not back. Methinks he’s hiding until the last child is in bed.
Honestly, the first half of the day was ok. I took a handful of seriously large breaths and took my children – both of them (at once)- to the zoo BY MYSELF. This may sound like child’s play to some. Not to me. I’m usually of the mind that any outing requires an even mix of one part grownup to one part kid. I had figured we’d stay an hour or so then leave before lunch. The kids had their shit together, so we actually stayed and ate at the zoo. It was nice. I felt “normal.”
Stella was headed off the rails a bit by the time we left. I overheard 2 jackass bitches say “what is she doing?” as Stella was getting up close and personal to a large stone globe. I wanted to rip the handle off our RadioFlyer wagon and bludgeon them to death. Stella wasn’t being that odd….
Anyway, we survived and made it home, where I still managed to bake 2 loaves of banana bread, roast a chicken, and make homemade mashed potatoes. By then, the kids were starting to act like assholes and it was wine o’clock. Stella keeps chasing the damn cats. One of them – no doubt in protest- took a large dump on our bathroom floor. I showed it to my daughter, attempting to turn a pile of shit into a “teachable moment.”
One more day of togetherness. I’ve decided that if reincarnation is a thing, I’d like to be reborn as the queen of either an ant colony or beehive. Those ladies automatically get a whole army of maids, cooks, and nursery assistants.
Happy Mardi Gras, y’all.