At the End of My Jump Rope

After finding my serenity with the endless barrage of fundraisers Stella’s school participates in – namely by tossing said info packets into the trash – they found a new schtick. Yesterday the American Heart Association sent home a sponsor form for a “Jump/Hoop-a-thon.”  
This one is pretty insidious, and by insidious I mean clever, in that A) it’s the blasted AHA and any non-participation promptly signals you’re a heartless douchebag (Get it? Heartless?), B) they’ve enlisted the help of the kids by pitching it as a fun jump-rope party, which means you can’t ignore it with the kids being none the wiser, and C) they’ve attached a coveted “mascot,” Super Pup. This is basically a plastic dog keychain attached to the cheapest lanyard money can’t buy, meant to be worn as a necklace. Super Pup is “collectible” and has an entourage you can earn by raising more money.

 

  

Pictured above is the monkey wizard/clown collection for the $16 a bag popcorn sale. There were actually more “friends,” but they fell off in about 6 minutes and 44 seconds.  I’m bitter.  Sorry.

Stella is obsessed with Super Pup.  And I have no problem sending $5 in an envelope so she can jump rope at school and win a cheap plastic toy.  But these brochures are out of line.  In the “suggestion” section in which parents are schooled in extortion, they tell you that by creating a website or Facebook page you can “share with even more friends and family.”  Seriously?  Because yeah, I obviously have my own web designer on staff with my maid, gardener, chef, and butler.

I have no problem with these charities.  Many/most do good work.  I’m a sucker for the “would you like to donate $1 to St. Jude” box at the grocery store checkout.  This one, however, has crossed some kind of line in my parental sand.  

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to At the End of My Jump Rope

  1. Anxious Mom says:

    We have three fundraisers right now. Three. We’re doing the donut one, but that’s it! I hate the ones where they ply the kids into guilting the parents for crappy little dollar store prizes.

    • larva225 says:

      I know! And you can’t reason with your kid (“Come on! Let’s skip it and I’ll spend a whole $5 on a much less-crappier toy.”) once they become sentient.

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