At the End of My Jump Rope

After finding my serenity with the endless barrage of fundraisers Stella’s school participates in – namely by tossing said info packets into the trash – they found a new schtick. Yesterday the American Heart Association sent home a sponsor form for a “Jump/Hoop-a-thon.”  
This one is pretty insidious, and by insidious I mean clever, in that A) it’s the blasted AHA and any non-participation promptly signals you’re a heartless douchebag (Get it? Heartless?), B) they’ve enlisted the help of the kids by pitching it as a fun jump-rope party, which means you can’t ignore it with the kids being none the wiser, and C) they’ve attached a coveted “mascot,” Super Pup. This is basically a plastic dog keychain attached to the cheapest lanyard money can’t buy, meant to be worn as a necklace. Super Pup is “collectible” and has an entourage you can earn by raising more money.



Pictured above is the monkey wizard/clown collection for the $16 a bag popcorn sale. There were actually more “friends,” but they fell off in about 6 minutes and 44 seconds.  I’m bitter.  Sorry.

Stella is obsessed with Super Pup.  And I have no problem sending $5 in an envelope so she can jump rope at school and win a cheap plastic toy.  But these brochures are out of line.  In the “suggestion” section in which parents are schooled in extortion, they tell you that by creating a website or Facebook page you can “share with even more friends and family.”  Seriously?  Because yeah, I obviously have my own web designer on staff with my maid, gardener, chef, and butler.

I have no problem with these charities.  Many/most do good work.  I’m a sucker for the “would you like to donate $1 to St. Jude” box at the grocery store checkout.  This one, however, has crossed some kind of line in my parental sand.  


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to At the End of My Jump Rope

  1. Anxious Mom says:

    We have three fundraisers right now. Three. We’re doing the donut one, but that’s it! I hate the ones where they ply the kids into guilting the parents for crappy little dollar store prizes.

    • larva225 says:

      I know! And you can’t reason with your kid (“Come on! Let’s skip it and I’ll spend a whole $5 on a much less-crappier toy.”) once they become sentient.

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