Have you ever had one of those years where everything in your life just kind of breaks? We’re having that year. 2016 will go down in the Bomb Factory as the year we went broke.
First it was the yard. Granted, that’s been a thing for a while. This spring – with its hundreds of inches of rainfall – has simply tipped us over the edge. We have landscapers coming within a week to fill up my back yard with luscious, dry dirt. We may even pay someone to put down pavers for a patio to replace the old rotten deck. All of this is something Will and I could reasonably do ourselves – and had intended on doing – but suddenly it’s April and it’s about to be 100 degrees outside and grass seed won’t take/grow and we can’t ever seem to get a break from the kids to do this kind of thing (and what is this “date night” I keep hearing about?) and my dad heroically sent some money so that we could pay someone to do it so that his grandkids could play outside and his daughter wouldn’t have a nervous breakdown. So there.
Then there was the furniture. We needed it. Not just physically, as the old stuff was beyond shoddy and there were dangerous broken bits sticking out. We needed it psychologically. The furniture became a metaphor for our household life. Getting new stuff was symbolic of moving forward, netting some gains. When I have a bad day and feel discouraged that I’m not a kid anymore and still have so much to accomplish – I can sit my ass on my new, accomplished couch or matching loveseat, and place my feet upon my padded cocktail ottoman without a missing drawer or bumpers screwed directly into it. Oh yeah, and I can put my glass of boxed wine on a coaster on one of my end tables. I thought those things only existed in home and garden magazines.
And have I mentioned the roof is leaking? Yep. We knew when we bought the house that the roof was already past its prime. It had already suffered hurricane damage once and been patched. About a month ago during one of the aforementioned hundreds of inches of rain events, a spot appeared. Then another during the next and so on and so on. Let me tell you something: roofers’ websites lie. They do not, in fact, offer financing. I know this because the first 2 I called to have come over were invited to do so based on their advertised financing only to find out that they “really need to take that off of their website.” Next up is Home Depot. They will finance. At this point, they can put orange shingles on the damn thing. We just need it fixed and be granted 2-3 years to pay it off. Roofs aren’t cheap. I had no idea.
The latest kick to the wallet involves tires. Will managed to drive over a board full of nails and lost 2 tires this weekend. SUV tires aren’t cheap.
I’m almost tempted to have Home Depot give us a $10 billion dollar loan and just have them do the air conditioning while they’re at it. That’s really the next great price tag looming in our future. Our home inspector said it was old and was inadequate for the square footage of the house. Every summer I live in fear that it will fail, unable to run the oven in the summer due to the heat gain while the poor AC runs for 12 hours straight and can’t get the temp below 76. Every fall I do a secret dance that it made it. I’m kind of tired of worrying about it.
So we’re staring down the barrel of a lot of debt, right as we were starting to make progress paying off the original debt we’d been carrying around. I’d start shaking my money-maker if it weren’t old and overweight. Wait. Maybe people would pay me not to do that.