Push and Bull

Y’all, I have been utterly uninspired lately.  Maybe it’s the news and all the bullshit that seems to go on these days.  Maybe it’s the summer doldrums.  I get snippets of my usual brilliant flashes (eye rolling), but nothing ever seems to gel.

I was making Whole 30 compliant Thom ka soup (the awesome stuff with the coconut milk, chicken, mushrooms, ginger, citrus).  Because I was on the bullshit diet, I couldn’t use my normal chili paste.  I had to use jalapenos.  We were out of gloves.  No biggie.  I had actually diced some recently without and had no problem.  This time?  It was like Madge replaced the Palmolive with battery acid.  And getting my contacts out later?  Yeah.  Suckage.  A week later and I’m still having phantom chemical burn pains.  Fuck you, Madge.

CostCo, a.k.a. Voldemart a.k.a. the Greatest Place on Earth has 53″ teddy bears on sale for $30.  I bought 2.  I will be the kids’ hero whenever I finally haul them out.  Will kind of cussed me, but this was one of those random, completely impractical things I wanted to do as a parent.  When I was 4, I had a giant stuffed animal.  I vaguely remember a huge blue gorilla (I think).  I remember it was full of styrofoam beads.  It made that bean bag chair sound.  I loved it.  I want my kids to have that, only these bears are soft – no cheap beads here!

They barely fit in my SUV.  Don't tell my kids.  They haven't seen them.

They barely fit in my SUV. Don’t tell my kids. They haven’t seen them.

Some one has taught my son to threaten to “destroy” people.  At first I blamed it on Plankton from SpongeBob, but now I think it was his father.  As a real crusher, he also told me the other day that not only was he going to destroy me, but I wasn’t his best friend anymore.  He had pulled down his sister’s curtains and I fussed at him.  Consequences, I guess.

Yeah, I love you, too, son.

Yeah, I love you, too, son.

That’s it.  See what I mean?  Maybe the weekend will reset me.  Y’all have fun.

These silly filters are still good for an occasional laugh.

These silly filters are still good for an occasional laugh.



About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Push and Bull

  1. Cookie says:

    Madge is one tyrannical bitch. Order a pizza, because Whole 30 can go fuck itself too.

  2. Eli Pacheco says:

    The world’s finally pissed me off to the point of writing about it – I’m gonna knock that shit out right after I finish this comment. I love this post. Wine is one hell of a good filter, too, you know – almost as awesome as rum.

    • larva225 says:

      Write – and rave – on my friend. I’m in Baton Rouge where horrible shit went down today. Cheers. Maybe if more of us wrote shit down instead of shooting each other up….

  3. Anxious Mom says:

    I think I’d pee my pants laughing if he threatened to destroy me. Probably one of those “not terribly funny if it’s your kid, but hilarious if there is no shared DNA” situations.

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