So yeah. Today hasn’t been great. It started with day 3 of torrential rain. (And I describe this for those of you far-flung. Anyone living here knows already, but is too busy sand-bagging to care about reading my stupid blog.). Usually on office days, I leave the house at 6:10. Today, I left at 6:00 due to all the flash flood warning sirens emanating from my phone.
I crept along the interstate going no faster than 40 mph, dodging puddles the size of Lake Erie. Once I reached my appointed exit, I noticed there was a problem. No cars were moving along the off-ramp. The water at the base of it was so deep, cars had stalled. After backing up the off ramp into oncoming traffic, I managed to re-merge in the appropriate direction in order to try a plan B exit. I was probably one of the last cars to make it. There was a puddle the size of the Gulf of Mexico blocking all but one lane. Shortly thereafter they closed it.
I made it to my office, pretty much soaked from the knee down from wading across the street between my office building and the parking garage. 10 minutes after my arrival, they announced the closure of the local school district. I called Will to deliver the news: not only would he be spending the day with Felix due to his school’s regularly-scheduled in-service day, he would get quality time with both kids. He didn’t cry but there were 4-letter words used. 30 minutes after my arrival, they announced that my office was closed. Dammit. I stayed 3 1/2 hours anyway. I had a mountain on my desk, hardly anyone was around so it was nice and quiet, and my nerves hadn’t recovered from my drive in yet.
I finally rejoined my family before lunchtime. Will and Felix had been playing the take-apart game (old slide projector this time). Felix was seriously pissed he couldn’t keep a fan but was somewhat mollified by the heavy glass lenses and magnifiers. That’s when the kids started playing the slappy-slap chase each other around the couch laughing and screaming in pain at the same time game. Have I ever told y’all how much I hate that game?
In order to try and relieve some pressure, we took our lives in our hands, loaded up, and went to Chuck E. Cheese. We honestly figured it would be a madhouse, what with the school closures and horrible weather. You know what? It was practically deserted. We actually had a nice time. It was the highlight of the day.
It was when then that we realized the roof was leaking like a sieve in Stella’s room. Dammit. It rapidly went from worrisome spots to outright dripping. Dammit again. I mean, we were looking at getting a roof in the spring but then it seemed like it had quit leaking. We’re chipping away at debt so we weren’t exactly chomping at the bit to take on a new monthly bill. We let it slide.
The leaking combined with the forecast of yet more rain resulted in Will climbing up into our 18″ x 24″ attic opening using a rickety folded-up exercise bike -think really bad OSHA training video – to see if he could find the source. He could not, but while he was up there, I noticed Felix playing with something shiny on our padded ottoman. When I asked what he had, he gleefully shouted “Ice!” Wouldn’t you know it was F’ing broken glass from the lenses he Precioused during the take-part game. Dammit. Just dammit.
There was only one solution for the roof (short of setting the house on fire which would be a fail in all this rain): Will would have to climb on the roof and cover the trouble area with a blue tarp. Everyone knows blue tarps are the universal symbol of storm damage. We look like we’re having a hurricane, only without the drinks.
While Will was on the roof blue-tarping us, I found 2 spots where cats had relieved themselves. Dammit. They need to understand that it is only fear of my own insane guilt which I would no doubt experience if I took them to the pound that keeps them alive. I am seriously tired of cleaning up cat urine.
So today has been a day. Let’s see…..find positives….. Chuck E Cheese was actually OK. We did Shrinky Dinks. Will was amazed. He colored some little cherries. This may become a thing. They have tons of designs – mermaids, robots, Star Wars.
Speaking of positives, it’s also now after 5:00. This means I can drink. I shall sip my Cabernet and dream – of houses with beautiful solid roofs, of sunny and mild weather, of the gorgeous pajamas they sell for $125 at Dillard’s that look just perfect for drinking wine and staying dry in.
Cheers. And to hell with this day.