I Plead the Filth

You know how as parents there are certain things you have to “let go” of in order to keep your merde together?  I have loads of things.  One of those things is my car.  Sure, on the surface it’s not terrible.  I keep the big trash, such as fruit snack wrappers, picked up. I even keep a plastic bag in my door panel so that I can tidy up while sitting at stop lights or carpool.  It’s like one of those Magic Eye posters.  As long as you don’t look too hard, it’s a beautiful world.

This is a true confession.  Don’t judge.

A couple of weeks ago, Stella started talking about seeing ants crawling around in the car.  They weren’t fire ants, as that would have inspired hysteria.  She claimed they were tiny little black ants.  I honestly thought she was full of shit.  She’s developed bug phobia lately, and tends to be a little sensitive.  Why would ants be crawling around in my car?

I finally started noticing how much detritus was in the back seat.  Fruit chews, M&Ms, popcorn.  Ok, it was gross.  Unless you were in the novel version of Cujo (Remember when the mom and kid had to make their little bit of picnic food last in case they were there a while?), all that food sitting around the floorboards and between the seats isn’t useful.

So it was time to clean the car.

Oh. My. Glob.  Y’all, it was awful.  I’m a disgusting person and horrendous mother for having my children sit in a traveling insectarium.  There were tiny ants.  And some kind of weird tiny beetle.  I found popcorn with tunnels eaten through it.

These snacks from my JapanCrate may be ok.  They look angry enough to kick the ass of any tiny ant or beetle they come across.

These snacks from my JapanCrate may be ok. They look angry enough to kick the ass of any tiny ant or beetle they come across.

It’s since been taken care of, and obviously I now know better.  I won’t say there will be no more food in the car, but there will be immediate cleaning of any spills.  Bugs are for the birds.

Her majesty cannot ride in a bug-infested chariot.  That simply would not do.

Her majesty cannot ride in a bug-infested chariot. That simply would not do.

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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7 Responses to I Plead the Filth

  1. Erika says:

    Oh lord! I’m glad they weren’t fireants, ahhh!

    Once my dad and stepmom were taking LM somewhere when he was 4 or 5. He got in the car and commented that his cousin’s booster seat was covered in ants. We thought he meant there were a couple in the car. Uh, no. They were EVERYWHERE. They took up the booster seat and the tan colored seat under was very black thanks to there being so many ants. They had no kids riding in that backseat except for a couple times per month, either.

  2. Yeah the prince and princess shouldn’t have to ride in that. Where was Jeeves to clean up the car anyways?

  3. joey says:

    Yeeeeah.
    So I’ve not had ants in my car, YET, but Moo likes to do stupid chit like leave an apple core on the floor in her bedroom. She drowns her floor, and the ants, in Windex every single spring. :/

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