Is there anything you really wish you were better at – anything that try as you might you just can’t seem to do? Of course you do. We all do. Here’s a list of some of mine:
- Pumpkin Carving: I love Halloween. Halloween in some ways is superior to Xmas, and I love Xmas. But the most important of Halloween symbols, the jack-o-lantern, eludes me. I try. I really do. But no matter how meticulous I am with the drawing and cutting, my pumpkins end up looking like Sloth from the Goonies. Terrifying, but not for the right reason.
- Cookie Baking and Decorating: I’ve already discussed this before, and again recently. I saw a cute idea on Pinterest, whereby you take sugar cookie dough, roll it into balls, roll the balls in sprinkles, jam a popsicle stick in it, and when it’s done baking it looks like a cookie lollipop. I’m going to try it, but I predict mine will end up looking more like male genitalia.
- Doing My Nails: I suck. I mean, I can sort of shape them and slap some color on my toes, but I’m clueless as to the rest. I admire women with pretty hands and feet, but I don’t think I’m meant to walk among them.
- Hair: Same deal as with nails. That’s part of why I just chopped mine off. It was long. Really long. But I can’t make all the pretty buns, knots, and braids. I ended up looking like a dumpy Katniss Everdeen after a Category 3 hurricane. And I try with my poor daughter, but she got the wrong mom for fancy hairstyles.
- Gift-wrapping: Oh man, do I ever suck. And this is the time of year when this want is felt most of all. Again, I try, and if you give me a perfectly square or rectangle-shaped item, a wide open space, and a bout 15 minutes, I can cover that item with the paper and it may not look totally ridiculous. But once you start adding ribbons and tags and glob help you if the item is oddly-shaped? It’s a disaster. Of course I can’t use ribbon much (even though I can do the curling ribbon ok) because the stupid cats will EAT IT, later adding insult to injury by barfing up newly-festive hairballs. I save every single gift bag our household gets – with every intention of reusing them, but even that looks awful. I can’t get the cute fancy fluffs of tissue paper to look right. It ends up looking like I tried to get jolly taking out the trash.
This last one is bugging me muchly at the moment, probably because it’s almost time to wrap my colleagues’ gifts. I ended up getting them lots of little things with the intention of putting them into gift bags, tissue paper be damned. But when I went through my gift bag hoard, I could only find a couple of small Xmas bags. The rest are Happy Birthday bags, clearly intended for children. Dammit. I may just tell everyone Stella wrapped this year for me.