Hear and Now

Saturday morning transcript:

Stella: “This is a puppy.  You have to marry her and read her this magazine.”

Felix: “I’m going to scratch this couch.  Gaaaaaaahh!”

Me (to self): What kind of interspecies bullshit is this?

Stella (singing off-key to the tune of Jingle Bells): “I have to get this hair out of my ukulele.  It’s going to be her crown.”

Felix:  “We ran out of triangles!”

Stella: “I want to go to the mall.”

Me: I want to go to a bar. “Why do you want to go to the mall?”

Stella: “If you like that magazine, Felix, you have to marry her until she dies.”

Felix: “What happened to my ice?!?!  Why did it melt?”

Stella: “Are you going to forget her when she dies?”

Felix: “Hey my mom!  I made a friend.  It gets super weird.” 

Stella: “I hurt my finger.  I hope it doesn’t bleed.”

Me: Holy moly it’s only 8 AM.

Stella (singing off-key to the tune of Smoke on the Water): “I want to go to the mall to buy a dress.”

Felix: “Stella!  We’re out of battery juice.  We have to tell daddy we’re out of battery juice.  Welcome to my shopping mall.”

Stella: “It’s my turn to wear the Lightning McQueen beanie.”

Felix: “Nooooooooooo!”

Me: Dear glob these children would fight over a piece of garbage in the middle of a landfill.

Felix: “It’s Mr. Rollypants.  He’s a machine.  He has a fever.”

Stella: “I have lego fever.  I feel like I’m playing with legos in my brain.”

Felix: “Actually my mom.”

Stella: “She’s your best marry-er.”

Felix: “Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday dear Felix…”

Me: “You will clean up this other stuff before you get out legos.  Get rid of that clump of hair and the ukulele.”

Stella (shouting): “OK MOM! I  WILL LET YOU HAVE PEACE AND QUIET!”

Felix: “I don’t have enough space.  I need a Q-tip.”

Me: This cannot be any stranger than what one might hear in a mental health facility. 

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About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
This entry was posted in life, Parenting and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Hear and Now

  1. Oh, it is posts like this that remind me how glad I am that my offspring aren’t that little anymore.

  2. Probably. I sometimes do, but the other day I watched my nephews children for 7 hours and I thought *this is why we have kids when we’re young*. They played outside for hours, expecting me to participate the entire time. It was exhausting.

  3. Or things heard in long term health facilities!

  4. stephleo says:

    Very funny stuff! My toddler says similar things, but she is saying it to two teenagers. Their responses are………interesting : )

  5. joey says:

    Ah, a day in the life! 😀

  6. Anxious Mom says:

    They do keep things interesting.

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