“I have a tail!” Felix excitedly tells my mother. They’re FaceTiming each other. In an unusual move, he requested it. Usually Stella is the FaceTime fan, yammering on about all manner of arcane topics – how on one version of Nyancat on YouTube she was farting out pink glittery swirls rather than the usual rainbow and in another version she had a waffle for a body instead of a pop tart – while Felix does flybys. This day, Felix craved it. Maybe because his fever virus popped back up randomly after a 2 day sabbatical (dammit) and he was feeling pitiful.
“You have a tail?” my mother asked in that grandmotherly way that they have which suggests that they would be riveted by an hour-long discussion on the diet of the planaria worm, provided it’s coming from one of their darling grandchildren.
“Yes! I can shake it. It’s my penis part. It sticks out of my butt!” He’s so proud. My mother proceeds to choke herself laughing so hard. The same discussion happens again with my father about 5 minutes later. My dad’s iPhone is an old piece of crap such that the audio cuts in and out. I think he was laughing but I can’t be sure.
(Oh and Uncle Josh? You and Emma were next on his FaceTime call list but I lied and said you were at work. Otherwise you would have heard about his “tail,” too.)
I suppose I should be grateful he’s only discussing his tail rather than trying to show everyone how it sticks out and he can wag it.