I’m sorry, y’all. I have simply been too busy to read much less write. At this point, I feel like a giant zit about to pop. I can never catch up and write about everything that’s happened. So I’ll share some tidbits in no particular order. At the very least it’ll demonstrate that I’ve not been a lazy bum.
1. Felix turned 4. There was a party. It was a pretty good party. He was very happy and excited. And I had one of those “no shit” moments when I realized I have produced 2 children and kept them alive for a significant amount of time. And they both really like me. Felix calls me “MyMom.” Just like that. Not “mom,” “mama,” “mommy.” I am MyMom.
2. I helped throw an actual grown up party and it was awesome. It was for my boss who was retiring. We had over 50 people show up, some even from out of state. I had so much fun. It had been years since I had been out with friends like that. I felt kind of alive. Now I’m wondering what other kind of event I can plan so I can get out of the house again.
3. I tried eyebrow threading. Holy shitballs that hurts. It’s like being stung repeatedly by seriously pissed off wasps. If men had to do that the Frida Kahlo look would be all the rage. I’ll be returning to boiling wax, thank you very much.
4. Some jackass went through our cars last night. There’s nothing to steal but they looked anyway, spilling all the crap out of the glove boxes. What an asshole. Seriously, if y’all could see my house, you would not think “I’m sure those are rich folks who have a bunch of valuables. This 2000 4Runner is just a clever disguise for all the wealth that they possess.” I hope they stuck their fingers in some kid boogers. I really do.
5. Work. Soul crushing and anxiety-producing. I do truly enjoy some of the people. That helps. Misery does indeed love company. But dammit I wish Will could triple his pay so I could be a full-time PTA mom.
6. Felix still talks about his “tail.” Stella has been demanding to see pictures of me knocked up. I feel a disturbance in the Force. I’m going to have to answer some of “those” questions soon. Dammit.
7. Valentine’s Day was full of sugar. I helped with the party for Stella’s class. Even the first graders were moaning about too much sugar. I also attended a “Valentines Day Social” the previous Friday night. Now, when I hear of a “social” I think of quiet, murmured conversation with tea and biscuits. That is not what this was. It was a hybrid between a mosh pit and a discotheque. We walked in to the Chicken Dance. That was chaotic and loud, but cute. Then they played Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off and y’all the room blew up. In the short time we were there, I saw one kid get knocked in the face resulting in a nosebleed and another girl gash her elbow open. It was madness. My Bloody Valentine, indeed.
MyMom, signing out.